Thursday, October 2, 2008

Too much crap to handle right now

Life is not good right now... in addition to dealing with PCOS and anticipating my RE appointment, it looks like my grandma might not have long left and Muffy is getting worse.

My parents finally got my grandma moved up closer to us all and it turns out that she has had an untreated infection for like a month now. I hope that is not the case, but it is pretty serious and could affect her knee implants. She is "fading fast, but might live another 16 years" says my dad. Well, that's a lot of help. Looks like I need to go visit this weekend.

On top of that, I weighed Muffy last night and this morning and it looks like she is close to 7 bls now... was was 8 lbs 2 weeks ago and nearly 9 a month before that. This is HUGE. She will die if she continues to loose weight this quickly. I am taking her in for more blood work around lunch to check her thyroid levels. I have a feeling that we may have to set up radiation treatment very soon. That is basically the only chance she has left if we can't get this under control with the medicine. Everyone keeps saying to me that its time to put her down... well its not, not yet. She is still very full of life and she has manageable diseases. There is still so much life left in her. She might be old, but that doesn't mean that this is her time. If she can still be managed, then I will do that. If she can't be managed and lives her life in pain and discomfort then I will do what's right, but that is not her, not yet. 

Somedays I think, maybe they're right I should just put her down, not because that's what's best for her, but that would be what's easiest for me. No old cat that I have to spend money on for blood work and treatment. No old cat I have to feed 3 times a day or give meds to. No old cat that has to be boarded if I have to be gone for more than a day. No old cat that inconveinces me. But that is wrong and selfish. If I did that I would have no cat that cuddles with me in the morning, no cat to warm my lap in the evenings, no cat to play with the scratch post in the corner of the living room, no cat to raise the blinds for so that she can bask in the morning sun, no cat greet me at the end of a long day... she deserves what's best I will give it to her. 

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