Tuesday, February 24, 2009

BFN at 14DPO

I'm starting to get a bit discouraged....

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Bunco last night was interesting. One of the ladies asked me if we were still trying. Through the conversation about 5 of my neighbors all revealed that they all had miscarriages. One neighbor said it took her 9 years to have her first (finally after an HSG and she now has 3 teenage girls).

After so many of them said they had miscarriages I said that many people don't realize how common miscarriage is and no one talks about it and it makes you feel very isolated. You could tell from the nod/sigh of agreement from that what I had said was on the mark. I think it was a good conversation and maybe they enjoyed it more than me.

But then one of them said later, "You just need to relax." (SCREAM NOW!!!) "That's what we did and we finally got our third one." (Note: NOT the same lady that said it took 9 years). So I said back, "Don't ever say that to anyone again, it's absolutely not true, if I didn't worry about it every couple months, I'd have uterine cancer, and it's a lot easier to relax when you already have 2 kids!" That really pissed me off.

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So today, in a moment of prudence, I decided it would be a good idea to put a liner in my underwear. I'm not used to not knowing exactly when AF shows up, so for mental sanity, I have succumb to the diaper.

I have had some batches of CM show up lately and when I start to feel it, I sit for a while and dread going to the bathroom, but eventually worry that if I sit too long, things might start to soak through. What will I find... CM or Blood? So far just CM. Something is going to have to do something soon.

4 comments:

The Wife said...

Oh crap! Maybe it's still too early?
I'm glad you told that lady what's what. I guess some can easily forget the anxiety/fear of not being able to get pregnant. I don't get the uterine cancer bit, but maybe I've not read enough.
When I get close to AF, I start wearing white underwears, almost like daring AF to come on a white underwears day. :)

Amanda said...

Your endometrium can build up over time if it's not shed regularly and cause an increased risk of uterine cancer. It's one of the many things you are at an increased risk of when you have PCOS... that's why we're all on the pill or popping provera every couple months.

Michelle said...

I'm still holding hope for you. Reading how your cycle has been reminds me so much of my experience years ago...
And I like the come back! No one ever realizes how hard it is unless they actually went through it. I've gotten the "just relax comments" so many times. And then the big one for me was after they told me I probably wouldn't have any more children without IVF, I was upset and got rid of all the baby items (2 yrs ago) and everyone was like "ohhh now it will happen! Just you watch!!" Still watching....
While I would never wish these issues on anyone, I just want people to realize it's not that simple for everyone.

birdsandsquirrels said...

I'm sorry about the bfn today. It's not over until AF shows up. I didn't get those two lines until 15dpo, so you never know.

If this isn't the cycle, I know that will be disappointing, but the good thing is that you did ovulate with that dosage of clomid. That's a great thing.

I'm sorry about the "just relax" comments. I'm so glad you said what you did back to her!