Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I just don't know

I have been trying to get it in my head that this cycle is probably on life support right now... just waiting for the plug to be pulled. Just when I've got myself totally convinced that there is nothing left to hold out for, I lose it and start trying to convince myself it's not over yet.

Two things:

My boobs: They started hurting about 9dpo and got worse, peaking 11dpo, but then it seemed to change to just my nipples being really tender at 12dpo, but now, I barely feel anything if I push on them. It seems to me that this situation shouldn't be improving if this was my cycle.

CM: During my induced flows (since that's all I have to go by) I usually feel a lot wetter starting a couple of days before my flow. I have certainly felt a lot wetter yesterday and today.... I have been inspecting the situation and I would say I'm a fair amount wetter than I have been for my induced flows. I don't know if that means anything or not.

Also, I have had some occasional sticky-yellowish CM. This is very strange and I don't know what to make of it. I'm not smelly or itchy, so I don't think it's an infection. Back in early Jan I thought I might have had an infection cause I saw a little bit of CM that looked like this, but I've seen it several times now and in larger quantities. I just don't know what to make of it.

I have asked Dr. G about CM as an early pregnancy sign several times and he says it can be, but it's more of a hindsight 20/20 kinda thing. He keeps mentioning something about "Leukorrhea" but don't really think this is it based on the descriptions I'm reading.

Right before I started this post I had just finished convincing myself this cycle was toast then I felt wetness and went to check it out again (like the 10th time today) and found a big blob of the sticky-yellow stuff. So then I wonder, is it not over? What is this stuff?

Anyone got any ideas out there?

1 comment:

Michelle said...

I really hope for you that the tests are just being stubborn with detecting it! For me, we knew when I o'd, and when it should show up by, but it was negative till I was close a week late. I also had that weird cm issues, and was so sure everytime I felt it that it was starting. It's very frustrating to deal with. I really hope you still get the positive test soon.
Hey you had said about the weird security messages on mine when you replied before, this one now says marcl.....Right away I thought it said miracle. Interesting huh?