Monday, March 9, 2009

Dreading the Inbox

So, my RE didn't call today (so I will be calling tomorrow), but I did get an email from my SIL.

You may recall that me and my SIL had a tiff at Christmas.

Her email is benign. She just wanted "to see how things were going," and "make sure that I'm ok." Just a simple, friendly email.

The problem is that I don't know how to reply. I want to say: No, I'm not ok. I'm sad about my last cycle and really want to cry and grieve for it, but the emotions just won't come out, but are right there under the surface all the time. And I'm getting surgery in a couple days that I pretend not to be worried about, but secretly am a little. And I'm constantly worried about the uncertainty of the future and I seriously don't know how long I can keep putting myself through all of this and how everyone else is having babies and I'm so sad to be left behind... you know, the normal stuff.

But, I don't want to tell her all that. I don't want to tell her anything. I don't feel like she deserves me sharing my thoughts and feelings with her right now cause I don't think she can understand.

I want to reply, "I don't feel like talking about it." or something to that effect.

I don't want to act like I'm fine, cause I don't know how to do that anymore.

So, I have no idea how to reply to the email, but I think if I don't send back something she will think I'm still mad at her or something (and maybe I am just a little).

Any ideas?


I have replied with the brilliant line: Things suck.

I added a couple other cordial sentences relevant to an event that she recently attended told her that I hoped things were going well for her. Four sentences, send, done.

I had to explain to my husband my email before I sent it. He doesn't get it. I didn't go in to detail in the least, I gave her something without giving her anything, I left it to the imagination how much is going wrong right now, and I didn't say anything condescending about how she wouldn't understand about what I'm going through. Short and sweet and a little evil, but not obtusely so. And, as honest as it comes: Things suck.


Celia said...

Maybe just say you are fine. If she is not completely dumb, she will get that you are Not Fine but rather Not Sharing With Her Insensitive Ass.

Talk about the weather or something- like a thankyou letter to your Great Aunt that you see twice a year.

Michelle said...

Wow, I read that for the first time about her at Christmas. I'd probably still be mad at her too. And...if you have to respond, maybe just say thanks for checking, and change the subject?
I have a SIL from hell too. After about 10 years of dealing with her, I've finally gotten to the point that I fire back at her. It's kinda fun.... :)

Hillary said...

I would probably just do a generic, "thanks for asking, I'm doing ok" Good luck!

Dianne said...

Hey, I have gotten into it with my SIL before. It is so hard because you want them to be there for you but at the same time you dont want to give in all the way either. Sometimes it takes baby steps like short emails! You were honest in your email, Good for you!!

Anonymous said...

I get so tired of pretending that things are fine. I think that "Things suck" is a perfectly good answer. She asked.

Anonymous said...

I totally get this!! It's funny b/c I do the same thing, when there's someone I prefer not to speak with I just email; I don't like going on and on with my situation when I know for damn sure they haven't the slightest clue!