Sunday, March 15, 2009

Healing and the most depressing 2WW ever

Today has been pretty good so far. Other than waking up a couple of times this morning to take the BBT, go to the bathroom, feed the cat, and swallow metformin, I slept in till almost 11am. And kudos to me, I went to bed without any vico.din last night and I think I might be done with it for good now too. I just had a conversation with my acupuncturist the other day about how vico.din can be surprisingly addictive, I'm not really worried about it in general, but if I kept using it to get to sleep I think I could find myself in trouble real quick.

I think I will probably go to work tomorrow. I feel pretty good. I can lay on my left AND right sides now (my right side hurt too much yesterday). And I can go from a sitting to standing position pretty comfortably. For surgery, it really hasn't been that bad. I do kinda look like a prego chick when I go to stand up or sit down. Got to take it easy for a while still.

One guy I work with was telling me how a girl about my age from his old office took 4 weeks off after her gallbladder removal and he insists it was laparascopic like mine. But I think there must have been something very different about her case.

I was still bleeding a little this morning. This has been so gross. I have never seen this much blood down there ever, by a multiple of 10. It totally grosses me out. I keep looking at it and wishing I hadn't, but it keeps coming. I seem to find it deeply upsetting for some reason. My solace is that my bleeding isn't from some sort of traumatic event, because if it was, I really think I'd be a crying mess seeing all that blood. It seems to be tapering off now and mostly brown now too. It still sickens me to look at it.

And apparently I am in the 2WW, I think. My boobs officially became sore yesterday (and surprisingly, vico.din does nothing for them). I am not excited about the 2WW at all this cycle. I could really care less. I'm just glad I won't have to take prometrium, that will save me $40. Last cycle's 2WW was sort of a novelty to me. I had never really been in the 2WW before and I was as excited as a Freshman at the Senior prom. But now that I've gone through puberty and grown up a little, I am not as impressed. I'm honestly thinking I might not even test this time. I just don't want to get my hopes up. In addition to the normal stuff going against me getting pregnant, there is even more against it this cycle, not the least of which is all the freakin blood coming from my crotch.

Honestly, this 2WW is very depressing. I find it very hard to process the fact that somehow my body managed to ovulate more or less on time but I'm not sure we timed our intercourse well enough (you know, with the surgery and all). And the thought that my uterus may have been traumatized so much that implantation is doomed or that my endometrium is damaged. Yeah, not stuff I want to think about or get my hopes up over right now. But for what it's worth, I'm here.

However, I reserve the right to hope after I talk to Dr. C. I know things might all change once I might have a better understanding of all this bleeding and why it looks the way it does and some other details that I have been wondering about.

Also, the evil floor nurse from the other day apparently was told by Dr. C. that he would see me in a week. Well, no one has mentioned to me a follow up appt or anything, so I am wondering if I am suppose to schedule one or something. I guess if I haven't heard from Dr. C by the end of the day Tuesday, I will call the clinic and see if I'm suppose to make an appointment.

Now I wait for something else to happen.


Nichole said...

My thoughts are with you - Big hugs for this 2WW!

Michelle said...

It sounds like the recovery is going pretty good. I hope that the Dr calls you soon and updates you on what the bleeding is and hopefully that doesn't cause any issues with this cycle. I'm holding out hope for you for this cycle. I hope recovery continues to go well and that the annoying bleeding is gone very soon.