Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Still in a dark place

This morning: 97.7

97.7 Has been the cover line on pretty much every chart I have done since I started charting. So, yes, technically, my BBT is still elevated, but barely. Not very reassuring at this point.

The only times I have hit 97.7 on an ovulatory cycle (after 3dpo) was either during an 'estrogen surge' at 10dpo or at the very end of the LP right before my period. Not reassuring at all. Even on prometrium induced flows, my temps exceed 97.7.

Obviously, the thermometer will be staying out a few more days.

I searched and searched fall back temp charts the other day and I don't think I found a single one that had a fall back of the same magnitude that mine was. It wasn't like a little 0.2 dip, no, it was 0.6 plummet. If it was the stock market, people would have been jumping off tall buildings.

Let me further explain why this freaks me out so. Yesterday, my chart was virtually IDENTICAL to my December Chart in which I had a giant, f-----g cyst. And today's temp doesn't really improve the situation any. I reread this post and I could have written that exact same post yesterday (the temp is even the same). I can and will hope all day long that this works out, but it's too damn close to what happened in December for me to have one ounce of comfort at this point.

Did you blog during a particularly difficult time in your journey and that time was so painful and difficult that you just about can't bear to go back and read those posts? December was that time for me. December is my low point in my journey so far. Thinking about that month is extremely difficult for me and I have a lot of emotions wrapped up in it. Please understand that and please don't dismiss my fear right now or rationalize my chart for me. I just can't handle that right now.

Hopefully I will get a better temp tomorrow.

5 comments:

Jill said...

still keeping my fingers crossed for you! ((hugs))

Michelle said...

I think that when you know as much as you do about the charting, and had a still pretty recent bad month, it would be extremely hard not to go back to all those details. I don't really know enough about the charting to understand it all. It always stressed me out too bad to keep going with it for more than a few weeks so I'm not much help there...
I hope that things change and look more positive for you with tomorrow's temp.

Celia said...

I wish I could say it will be ok.

birdsandsquirrels said...

Oh, hun, I'm sorry. No dismissing or rationalizing here. I'll just sit with you and hold your virtual hand while this all plays out, and hold on to that hope for you. Hugs.

Hillary said...

Amanda, I'm sorry. I would be totally stressed out, too. I wish the cycle had just gone smoothly for you!!! We're here for you as you anxiously wait for that temp each day. (((hugs)))

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