Friday, May 22, 2009

Facebook and Muffy Update

I finally logged back into facebook (cause they sent me a nasty little email that I've been ignoring a ton of requests). I hadn't been on in about a year and a half. It took me a while to figure out my password. I was kinda hoping I wouldn't.

I had a bunch of friend requests waiting including 2 asshole DJ's from a station I quit listening to about a year and a half ago. I ignored them. But everyone else I recognized got approved.

Including Mel! A few of you all know my full name, cause I sometimes use that email address. A part of me doesn't want people that I haven't seen since highschool or college inferring from my friends list that I am infertile. But, I just don't give a shit anymore. I'm Infertile, and I'm proud! (And by the way, I'm not terribly public with this, but I usually send/receive blog related email at amandawithpcos at gmail dot com if you ever want to email me)

But things are not good right now. Muffy is having more trouble eating. She's eating enough most of the time, but it is so difficult for her to eat. Me and my husband probably had the hardest conversation of our marriage last night. I'm calling the vet today to talk about it. It's not going to get better, we can keep putting it off, but not for long.

She was doing so well the other day that I thought we really might have months left before having to really sit down and discuss it, but as much trouble is she is having eating, I don't think so. It seems like it has gotten quite a bit worse in the last few days. I fucking hate cancer.

I tried to catch her eating to show you. She just started rubbing the sides of her face with her forearms when she chews now. This is totally new behavior. Does it look like she is having as much trouble to you all as it does to me? Anyone else's cat do this normally?

The roses are really out now.


Michelle said...

I'm so sorry that Muffy isn't doing better. The video really does look like she's having trouble...I don't have a cat, but our dog will do that if she gets something stuck while eating. I really wish there was something they could do to get her back to normal. I'll be thinking of you. (((HUGS)))

Michelle said...

I also wanted to add about Facebook...I really don't share much of the IF info on there either. Mostly because a lot of family is on the list and they just don't get it. A few friends I've met online through IF related things have commented and asked about it, but no one else seems to notice. Another reason I don't really talk about it much on there is when I do finally get pregnant, I don't plan on sharing with family till I feel safer with the news. People are too negative...

Jill said...

I'm so sorry you have to go through this :( Watching a pet suffer is so so hard! Just thinking about what you're dealing with right now makes me want to sob. Sending lots of hugs and support!

Celia said...

Hmmm, Muffy does look like she is struggling but also looks like she wants to eat. Could you maybe show the video to the vet?

I am so terribly sorry that this is happening. No matter how much time we have with our pets, it is never ever enough.

Have you tried thinning out the food so she can kind of slurp it? I am thinking of you.

Amanda said...

Yeah, I've tried thinning it out, but she won't touch it. It's getting harder to just get her to drink.

And your right, I think she does want to eat, but it kills me that it might be causing her pain. I've stopped mostly with the appetite stimulants cause I think she's already hungry, she just knows it will hurt her to do it and holds back. I think I'm just making her hungrier. She wakes me up at 5am for food lately. She wouldn't do that if she weren't hungry.

Celia said...

Maybe you could try feeding her with a syringe or bottle and aim the food down her throat to kind of bypass chewing?

I was so desperate to get Shaggy to eat that I was putting food on his paw so he would lick it off. My heart is just breaking for you and Muffy.

Hillary said...

Sorry for the rough time with Muffy. :( :(

Anonymous said...

It does look like she is having a difficult time with the swallowing or chewing. Oh, poor Muffy. The syringe thing is a good idea, for food or water. Is she dehydrated? Has the vet given her fluids subcutaneously? We have been doing that for our cat to dilute his urine, since he was not drinking enough water by mouth. That can really perk them up sometimes for a few days.

I'm sorry about all of this, Amanda. This is such a hard thing to go through. I fucking hate cancer too. I pray that you and DH will be able to find peace when you decide it is time, whether it is days or weeks or months away. You are doing the absolute best that you can for her. Hugs.

Rebecca said...

Wow, I'm so sorry about Muffy. The video broke my heart. She really does look like she's having a hard time.
I had to make the excruciating decision to help my 18 yr old cat die peacefully a few years ago, so I can empathize with what you're going through. It is heartwrenching to say the least. If you need a shoulder, I'm here...because I've been there.
Praying for peace for you all.

Rebecca said...

I forgot to tell you also, thank you so much for the support and commenting on my blog. It means so much!