Tuesday, June 9, 2009

6w 0d

This week hasn't been too bad. Getting that u/s and being able to rest easy that I don't have an ectopic has kept me sane so far.

The only problem is that I still can't sleep. I'm exhausted. You read about early pregnancy fatigue, but this really isn't that. I'm sure I wouldn't be so tired if I could just get a decent night's rest. Or take a nap. Or something. I spend hours awake in bed lately. I figure eventually I will get tired enough that I will sleep well, but it has to get worse first.

I haven't really had any big pregnancy symptoms. I haven't had any real morning sickness. Maybe just a tiny bit of nausea. I pee a lot only because I'm really thirsty and drinking a ton. My boobs haven't really grown or changed any. My biggest symptom has been dizziness. I'm frequently quite dizzy. Because of that, I'm a little concerned how my blood pressure is doing. (I've had dizzy problems before and blood pressure was an issue then.)

Right back around when I tested positive, I had lots of little cramps... kinda a bubbly feeling. A couple days later these turned into infrequent sharpish cramps which I assume are from my uterus stretching. And Dr. Google says this is normal but should stop by 6 weeks, and magically, they pretty much have in the last day or two. So I'm hoping all this is good and everything is measuring on schedule.

I feel really bad for my husband right now. He can't come to the u/s cause he has a training he can't get out of. I think he was really sad about it. It's hard on him feeling so helpless in all of this. And I know we've experience this journey differently... in the beginning it was no big deal to him, but the last couple months it has really changed and I know that it has emotionally affected him a great deal, and I think because he's a guy (and his role in all of this), he has a harder time showing and dealing with it. Hopefully everything will be fine and he can come to the next one with me (and hopefully we won't have to wait too long for it).

My thoughts on today's u/s are that everything has been going well lately, I think. At first, I was sure it wasn't going to work and didn't let myself get attached. But, in the last week I've started to imagine that this could be real. I could have my own baby, soon. And now that I've let myself love it, I'm so, so afraid of losing it. I really hope today's u/s goes well.


Juls said...

Good thoughts to you....try to relax and enjoy your little miracle!


Celia said...

Just hang in there, you will have to sleep eventually.

Maybe you could try those Jeffrey Thompson cds that me and Bird use. They work without you believing they will.

I think all of us are hyper aware of all the things that can go so terribly wrong. But things are looking great for you!

I am a big worrier so what I do is imagine the very worst thing that could happen, I let myself worry the worst worry. Then I decide what I would do if that worst thing happened. Then I can move on.

Michelle said...

Good luck with your u/s today.
For me, I was extremely tired in the beginning, but couldn't sleep either. I'd be awake for hours when going to bed just thinking. It took a few weeks to settle down and the insomnia ended then I felt like I was sleeping any chance I got. I'd take a nap during my lunch break even. From what I've heard, the early insomnia is pretty common too.

Anonymous said...

Good luck with the ultrasound today. I'm sorry that DH can't go with you. S was there for my 6 week ultrasound, but he told me later that he couldn't see anything. Yes, even after the RE spent time showing us the flickering heartbeat and everything, all my husband took away from it was that the gestational sac looked like a whale. Great. The next u/s was a little better because you could it started to look more baby like and less alien blob like.

I had such a hard time with sleep too. You'd think the prometrium would knock my lights out, but I couldn't stop THINKING and WORRYING enough to fall asleep. Take naps when you can.

Michelle said...

I was thinking and forgot to add when I commented earlier...I had a lot of dizziness issues during my pregnancy, and they automatically thought it was BP then but always checked out ok. Turned out mine was from being slightly anemic.