Tuesday, June 23, 2009

8w 0d

Well, nothing new from last week really. I'm still really, really thirsty. And my face looks like raw hamburger. But no morning sickness. No feelings. No nothing. It's very weird. Somehow I thought you were suppose to feel pregnant during pregnancy. Could someone tell me when that's suppose to happen? Honestly, I think telling people probably helps you to feel pregnant cause then you don't have to pretend all the time like it's not happening. I haven't told anyone (except my drs and priest) and all this pretending is feeling like reality right now.

And not that their is any logical reason to think this, but I'm convinced it's dead. I know, I'm crazy, but I will be utterly shocked if it is alive at my appt next week. That's how unpregnant I feel.

And I couldn't contain it any longer and called my OB's office to check that I was getting an u/s at my appointment. I politely explained that I would be pretty upset if I wasn't getting one and the nurse said it's their policy to do one at this point, so, yes, I should be getting an u/s next week. Cause obviously, I can't have a rational conversation about all of this right now, cause I'm convinced it's dead.

I need to start preparing for my appointment. I have so much I want to ask about that I can't imagine their will be enough time. I'm thinking of writing out all my medications ahead of time so we can at least speed that part along. And I really need to talk about my meds... the progesterone, met, baby aspirin.... I also want to ask about getting a flu shot (not that it will do squat against swine flu which has invaded my tiny community), and I know I'm out of date on tetanus. And, I'm getting my teeth cleaned afterwards and it's been an embarassingly long time since I've been to the dentist and I know they will want to take x-rays and they have a 'low dose' digital x-ray they will probably try to convince me is safe and I need to ask the ob about that. And I need to tell her that the thought of an episomity freaks me out big time. And I'm considering using a doula. And what happens if I get GD and do they normally induce earlier because of that. And I need nutritional support if some is available to keep me from ballooning. And none of this matters cause I'm sure it's dead. Yeah, I'm a little nuts.


Celia said...

Any of us would be the same. You ask all the questions you need to, so that you can feel as safe and reassured as possible.

If your ob does not satisfy you, get another. You have plenty of time to swap.

If I ever need an ob, I am telling them flat out that I will be paranoid, weepy, and obsessive. If they can't deal I will find one who can.

That is why I am planning on using a touchy feely hippie birthing center and a doula. I would hire a damn hypnotist if I thought it would help.

I am thinking of you babe.

K8e said...

I hope it's doing well! I think thirsty is a sign of pg? GL with the u/s ...any way you can convince them to move it up so you feel better? I always make a list of questions before an appointment b/c I'm scared I will get in there and forget! GL!

Michelle said...

I hope everything is going great for you. Maybe the new prenatal is helping a lot of the earlier symptoms like the morning sickness. A few of my friends have told me that they didn't have any issues or symptoms at all the whole first trimester so it is apparently common.
I say definitely make a list of all your questions so you are sure everything gets covered. If I remember correctly, my first appt was super long and they schedule for that due to the questions and all the new things they will go over. I hope your appt goes well and everything looks great on the u/s. Hurry up next week!

Anonymous said...

8 weeks! Yay! My face totally broke out too, and is just now starting to calm down. I am also super thirsty, especially in the afternoons.

I'm glad you aren't miserable with symptoms, but I can see how it would feel strange not to feel anything. I was also CONVINCED it was dead and was shocked when it was alive. I don't think there is anything I can say to help you with that - I think you will just need to see if for yourself at the ultrasound. I'm glad you know for sure that you will actually be getting an ultrasound!

Thomas said...

I was convinced it had died almost my whole pregnancy--or that it would. I never had the symptoms lots of people had, either, which only confirmed what I "knew." Once I started feeling movement, if anything changed at all, I was convinced the next ultrasound would prove me right.

If you aren't happy with your OB, definitely change. I know someone who changed at 37 weeks, so don't let anyone tell you it's "too late", regardless of how late it is.

Hoping your fear is just that.


Dianne said...

A lot of women don't start experiencing stuff until weeks 10 -12! Try not to worry yourself sick!!!

Lucy said...

None of it is nuts! hope you get the answers!

Hillary said...

I think every infertile would be nuts! Yay on 8 weeks!