I called my clinic the other day to get permission for the doppler. I know there are plenty of ways to get a doppler without going through the trouble, but I'm choosing to take the upfront, full-disclosure route here.
The problem: Doc's on vacation. So I am obviously at an impasse until she gets back next week... BUT I can come in the next day (today) and talk to the physician's assistant and let her doppler me. Ok. Deal.
The good: The baby's heartbeat was just fine and it only took about 2 seconds to find it.
The bad: She just really wasn't listening to what I had to say. At all.
The first thing she says to me is that I need to RELAX. That damn phrase will haunt me for the rest of my life. I still find the reflex to scream when someone says that very strong. But she goes on to say that it would be very rare for something bad to happen at this point (I actually don't think it's that 'rare'... not likely, but not rare).
I have to counter her with the horror story my coworker tells me when she sees my new car Monday. Her daughter was stillborn at 7 months just after they bought their very first new car. That story just reinforces my fear that telling people, and buying a new car, and wearing maternity jeans are inviting fate to come and destroy me. The PA didn't really have anything reassuring to say about that other than it's out of my hands so there is no use worrying about it. Oh, yes, powerlessness makes it so much easier to relax.
But I had to explain to her that I was trying to rent a doppler and needed permission to do it about 4 times. She just wasn't listening to what I was saying at all. I said several time that dopplers are FDA controlled devices and because of that I needed permission. Finally, she asks if we need to talk about anything else and I ask, "So are you going to get me permission for a home doppler or not?" And the light finally came on and she finally figured it out. (And I was speaking very plainly, the only reason she wasn't understanding it was because she wasn't listening to me, or she's a moron, or both.)
Well no one's ever asked her for one of those before (just me about five times now). She'll have to leave me a note in my chart and my dr. will have to get back to me next week. "But why do they want permission?" she asks. BECAUSE IT'S AN FDA CONTROLLED DEVICE, Moron.
I don't even know if the website I was planning on using even checks up that I actually got permission, but like I said, I'm just trying to be upfront about all of this stuff. I'm not sure it was worth the effort. But at least I got to hear my baby's heartbeat again today.