Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The Physician's Assistant

I called my clinic the other day to get permission for the doppler. I know there are plenty of ways to get a doppler without going through the trouble, but I'm choosing to take the upfront, full-disclosure route here.

The problem: Doc's on vacation. So I am obviously at an impasse until she gets back next week... BUT I can come in the next day (today) and talk to the physician's assistant and let her doppler me. Ok. Deal.

The good: The baby's heartbeat was just fine and it only took about 2 seconds to find it.

The bad: She just really wasn't listening to what I had to say. At all.

The first thing she says to me is that I need to RELAX. That damn phrase will haunt me for the rest of my life. I still find the reflex to scream when someone says that very strong. But she goes on to say that it would be very rare for something bad to happen at this point (I actually don't think it's that 'rare'... not likely, but not rare).

I have to counter her with the horror story my coworker tells me when she sees my new car Monday. Her daughter was stillborn at 7 months just after they bought their very first new car. That story just reinforces my fear that telling people, and buying a new car, and wearing maternity jeans are inviting fate to come and destroy me. The PA didn't really have anything reassuring to say about that other than it's out of my hands so there is no use worrying about it. Oh, yes, powerlessness makes it so much easier to relax.

But I had to explain to her that I was trying to rent a doppler and needed permission to do it about 4 times. She just wasn't listening to what I was saying at all. I said several time that dopplers are FDA controlled devices and because of that I needed permission. Finally, she asks if we need to talk about anything else and I ask, "So are you going to get me permission for a home doppler or not?" And the light finally came on and she finally figured it out. (And I was speaking very plainly, the only reason she wasn't understanding it was because she wasn't listening to me, or she's a moron, or both.)

Well no one's ever asked her for one of those before (just me about five times now). She'll have to leave me a note in my chart and my dr. will have to get back to me next week. "But why do they want permission?" she asks. BECAUSE IT'S AN FDA CONTROLLED DEVICE, Moron.

I don't even know if the website I was planning on using even checks up that I actually got permission, but like I said, I'm just trying to be upfront about all of this stuff. I'm not sure it was worth the effort. But at least I got to hear my baby's heartbeat again today.


Michelle said...

Wow she sounds wonderful. Sorry she was such a moron. That's good you were able to hear the heartbeat again today. I hate that everyone feels the need to say just relax. That may have been easier when there wasn't so much access to reading all the bad things happening out there!

Sophie said...

I'm not a fan of that phrase either, always makes me cringe even if it's not said in reference to infertility/pregnancy related things. Grr...yeah, I've had a few doc experiences like that (or PA), it's good that you kept asking, though.

Glad to hear that the baby is doing well :).

Celia said...

Oh babe, didn't you just want to shake her? I want to shake her and I am just reading about it.

Suraita said...

This sounds so frustrating! And ridiculous!

I think there should be some rule that at this point if someone says to just relax about anything we get a free pass to slap them.

Neve Steinberg said...

When you are trying to conceive, they tell you to relax. Then you get pregnant --and they still tell you to relax?! This is farcical.

Justina said...

I'm all in for being allowed to slap someone when they tell you to relax. The nurse here at work just told that to me...I really had to control myself!!
Good to hear the baby is doing well.

The Wife said...

That sucks that you had to deal with someone like that! It stinks when they don't take your concerns seriously. They should regardless of whether or not "they" think their valid. I hope your doc deals with it much better.

Anonymous said...

The PA sounds like a moron. Seriously, how hard is it to understand that it is an FDA regulated device and that you need a doctor's approval to rent one?

It also makes me want to scream when someone tells me to just RELAX. And the whole "it's beyond your control" thing is no help either. It just makes me worry more.

And that was crappy of your coworker to tell you that story and worry you like that! Wow. Is she a total bitch or something? I was freaked out to start wearing maternity clothes too, but at 15 weeks, you are completely justified to wear comfy clothes for that growing tummy.

I'm very glad the baby is fine! Do you have your next ultrasound scheduled?