Tuesday, September 29, 2009

22 weeks

I actually had my first official OB appt with Dr. McSoothy on Friday last week. It went really well. I felt very reassured that the good vibes I got from our first meeting were sustained throughout this one too.

The nurse went through the new patient questionnaire with me. When we got done she told me about the birth of her first child. It was several years ago with another dr. but at the little hospital there (McSoothy wasn't around back then). The delivery was normal but her placenta didn't come out because it had grown into the uterine wall (which they didn't know at the time). They were pulling it out and causing her a ton of pain, so they put her out to finish the job, but soon found out that she needed emergency surgery (note: it was late at night too). She said she needed a bunch of blood transfused and that she almost died but they saved her and her uterus. She had another child last year. She reaffirmed what I thought, it may be a little rinky-dink hospital, but it's still a hospital and prepared for emergencies.

I had to wait a while for McSoothy to show up, probably an hour. Not terrible, but a bit long. She apologized for taking so long and said that if she was waiting on someone to deliver she would often just have her patients sent over from the clinic and do their prenatal appts at the hospital but this time she was just doing a follow up on a delivery she'd done the night before. She told me that the patient was actually a transfer from the Birthing Center in the city with all the fancy hospitals that are right there. So with 2 excellent local hospitals to choose from, the birth center (in this case) chose to transfer their patient to a dinky hospital ~20mins away because of McSoothy. Adding to the confidence here.

But I was upset that MFM had not sent over the u/s report! Her name was right on there, so they either didn't send it or someone really screwed up. I really wanted to go over those results. McSoothy was going to call me when she got it and hasn't called yet. My appt was on Friday and it's Tuesday, and I am waiting fairly patiently for me, but I'm about to rattle the cages. McSoothy wasn't overly concerned but wanted to see what the individual measurements were and maybe that would explain some of it.

Everything else was fine. The heartbeat was a little faster than I normally measure but fine. And I got my fundus measured for the first time and it was right on 22cm.

I got a slip to get my 1 hour GTT at 24 weeks and another for MTHFR testing. I got the MTHFR drawn today. I don't imagine I will know the results for that for at least another week.

I also stopped at the hospital and took a tour of the maternity ward before going back to work. The nurses were really nice. There was just the one patient their from the delivery the night before. It was small and quaint and country. Not fancy at all, but that isn't so important. They had just the 2 delivery rooms and 4 postpartum rooms. The labor and delivery bed had a wooden headboard. The postpartum beds had handmade quilts on them (those don't stay on, they are just for looks). Definitely different but just fine.

Me and DH both got our first ever flu shots on Saturday, because my new clinic has Saturday hours! I've never had a regular clinic with Saturday hours. I thought only REs had those. Saturdays are just for walk-ins but it's better than nothing. Oh and I found it very reassuring that they immediately pointed out to me that because I am an OB patient I was to get the mercury free vaccine. One less thing to worry about.

I'm sleeping much better these days in the recliner. I tried to climb back into bed on Saturday to spend some time with DH, but even a couple hours back in the bed was like torture. I'm sad that I can't sleep with my husband these days, but the sleep is too important.

And the kid scared the crap out of me today. He normally kicks all morning at work but not this morning. He didn't start kicking until about 9:15. I was sure that he'd probably just changed sleeping patterns (probably because my sleeping was changed by the recliner), but it was still unnerving. I pushed my tummy a couple times to see if it would get him going, but no. I took a big sigh after he started up. I can tell that I'm going to have my work cut out for me raising this one.

Monday, September 28, 2009


So it's been a year...

And mostly it's been good, really good. I started this blog honestly never expecting to get pregnant, but with hope on the horizon in the form of Dr. C. And it was a slow start. Waiting for met to work, waiting for ovulation, waiting for my cyst to die. But eventually things started working and, Holy Hell, I ovulated! It was a BFN, but to an anovulatory girl, ovulation is a victory in itself.

Then that damn gallbladder started giving me trouble again and it had to come out. And getting it out proved to be all good in the end. And Dr. C. was elevated to sainthood in my mind for giving me a diagnostic lap for free (off the books).

And I had some good times with my acupuncturist and his wife. They were very nice people and I feel that the acupuncture really helped me.

And I lost weight! Almost effortlessly. Can't beat that.

And then poor Muffy got sick. The only truly bad thing to happen to me in the last year. I still have a really hard time with her loss and I miss her so much. My new kitties are really a joy but my heart will always greive for my Muffy.

And then, for all the times in my life when I really needed something good to happen, I got pregnant. The coinciding of my pregnancy with Muffy's death is really the main reason that I didn't want to announce my pregnancy and still try not to talk about it much. Beyond me and my husband there really isn't anyone else in the world that can appreciate that conditions under which this child was conceived and how much my baby's life will always be tied to my Muffy's death. It was a wonderful miracle, but I cannot think about one without thinking about the other.

And the last couple months have been pretty boring. I've had a truly easy pregnancy so far. My worries these days are very different than the worries I had a year ago. However, I won't be able to fully lie down all of the fears I had a year ago until I'm holding my baby, alive and healthy, in my arms.

So that's where I been and this is where I am. But more than anything, I'm glad for the people that I have met along the way. You all make the difference.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Pain in the Ass

I've got 2...

The side sleeping is not going well. No matter what I try, my hips are in terrible pain by the morning. This has now extended to my lower back and my ass. And the sciatic was gone for several weeks, but I think the side sleeping has brought it back. It hurts to walk now because my hips feel totally out of alignment. I wonder if the pregnancy is causing them to spread and that isn't making it worse?

I can't lie in bed after about 4am. I have to get up, it hurts that bad. I think I'm just going to try the recliner tonight. I have a REALLY great mattress, but I need my hips supported and as long as one's in the air, it can't be fully supported and that's where the problem is. And I hesitate to sleep in the recliner because my coworker that had the stillbirth said her doctor said it's not a good idea to sleep in one, but my pregnancy books say otherwise and my coworker thinks she knows everything and I really think she doesn't have a clue, and even if her doctor did say that, it doesn't mean he knows it all either.

I have been having lots of thoughts about getting a massage, but I don't understand how prenatal massage works. You can't really lay on your stomach so how...?

The other PIA is my insurance company. They denied my claim for the nutritional counseling I got in July. The problem is that it apparently is coded as "Nutritional" counseling and not "Diabetic" counseling. I hesitate to call it that as I am not diabetic (yet), but that's really what it was. The thing that throws it off this that I was concerned about my protein intake too which constituted all of 2 minutes of an hour and a half long appointment. One way or another, it's going to get covered because they recorded the phone call where I called in and asked if it would be covered ahead of time and they told me yes. So if nothing else, they have told me this one time they will cover it because of that, but I'd rather save my "get out of jail free" card for another day if possible. So the hospital is fighting it for me too. Hopefully everything will be cleared up shortly.

Cause I've paid ENOUGH out of pocket this year already, I ain't paying for this too. Infertility cost me a several thousand (yeah clomid is cheap, but it's still pretty expensive counting u/s's, blood work, IUI's, acupuncture and everything else). Plus I've paid my deductible and co-ins, and several hundred in co-pays, and other meds... yeah, folks, can we just give Amanda a break on this one?

Ok, I'm done whining about my ass.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

21 weeks

Confession time: I've put on weight way too quickly. I did really good the first trimester, I think I put on 2 lbs if that. I was doing good a few weeks ago, then I exploded! It was like over night, I'd put on like 5 lbs and a week later I had another 5 lbs. And I don't know how! Really! I think I have put on 11 or 12 lbs. NOT GOOD. I'm only suppose to put on 15.

I'm still watching the blood sugar, and it looks ok to me, so that doesn't appear to be an obvious culprit.

More likely all the eating I've done is responsible. Being a vegetarian, I've been pretty worried about getting protein and it's not like I can just eat some baked chicken or turkey or other lean cut of meat. I have to think about every meal and squeeze in every opportunity.

Breakfast hasn't really changed, so that shouldn't be causing problems... actually I'm eating less because I can't eat a 1/2 cup of oatmeal (uncooked) at a sitting.

Lunch is about the same too.

Dinner yeah, it's varied, but about the same.

What's the difference? Probably snacking. I've been having a midmorning snack of cheese... usually cheese and crackers or string cheese. Sometimes nuts too.

And then the afternoon snack of nuts or fruit. Actually, I normally ate some fruit in the afternoon, so that's not different either.

And a glass of (skim) milk or two everyday (one at night to swallow all my freakin horse pills).

I don't think I've been that bad, certainly not so much worse than normal that I should go from losing weight to EXPLOSION. Cause, a few months ago I was loosing weight effortlessly. Apparently I've not been as good as I thought. But I was just trying to get some extra protein and calcium in. I don't know what I am suppose to do.

After the first explosion, I started watching things more closely but it didn't prevent the next one. I feel like a total failure. My baby is huge and it's all my fault. But I don't know what to do about it. I can't exactly diet. I can put the screws even tighter on my diet, but I don't think I can tighten them much, meet my calorie goals and protein goals. Oh, and exercise, I don't want to go into that right now, but yes, I need to do more, and IT WOULD BE NICE IF MY HUSBAND WOULD ACCOMPANY ME ON A WALK OR SOMETHING. (Not that typing that will help... he doesn't read the blog.)

Someone please come over and kick my ass. I need it. But please, spare me the judgement.

Thursday, September 17, 2009


I'm back to testing my blood sugar for nearly every meal. The protocol I was told is to test 2 hours after I START eating.

Now normally, I wouldn't be hungry an hour after I just ate, but the fact that I am not allowed, makes me hungry! Forbidden fruit, literally.

And by the way, my first reading I did after we discovered that I am gestating a giant was at the upper end of the good range, but still normal and it was after my office's birthday lunch, which included garlic bread, pasta salad, carrot sticks and a few cookies for dessert, so I was probably pushing it anyways. But all of my other readings since then have been back in the low 80's which is where they were back at 10-12 weeks when I first got the meter. And I even intentionally exceeded my carb allotment for lunch yesterday to see what would happen and I was very good still.

I definitely think I should mind my carbs better (oh ketchup, how I will miss you) but it doesn't appear that I have GD going on from my readings.

I should call my bother's wife. She was perfectly fit before she got pregnant, exercised all through her pregnancy, had appropriate weight gain, no GD at all, and was induced 2 days after her due date because they were worried that my nephew was almost 10lbs at that point. They were off, he was only 9lbs 1oz, but that's still pretty big. I wonder how he measured at this point.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

20 weeks

It's a boy. It's a BIG boy.

The excitement of knowing the gender is very much dampened by the size of the kid... 15oz. It's nearly a 1lb already! That's the 94th percentile (apparently). Basically, it measures almost 2 weeks ahead. This kid has always measured ahead (I blame the early implantation) but all of a sudden I'm worried we're a little too far ahead. Um, yeah, now I'm really worried that I might already have some GD going on. I checked my blood sugar after lunch, it was ok, but not stellar like it had been.

I had dreams of a nice natural childbirth and I feel like that flew out the window this morning. If I have GD they will likely induce my around my due date if I haven't already delivered. And we've all heard induction horror stories, I hope I'm not one. And the thought of pushing out a giant baby is pretty scary too. Lots to think about all of a sudden.

And we all know that ultrasound techs can be terrible to get information from, but my tech just kept saying that everything was great and looked good. But if something wasn't right, I don't think she'd say anything. Did you know that they check the upper lip to make sure it's not cleft? They do! We're good there. And 4-chambered heart, 2 kidneys, bladder, normal looking brain, 3 vessel cord, and everything else she checked. I was actually a bit surprised at how thorough it was. We really enjoyed getting to see everything up on the monitor, but we didn't get any stellar u/s pics, so I probably won't post much. I have an follow up with my doctor at the end of next week to review it with her. So even though the baby was big, it looks like everything is normal, and that's good to know.

Me and DH have a name we like. It is a family name and we really want to use it, but DH quickly pointed out to me BIL and SIL's kid's middle name is what we want to use as our first name. Part of me says, "Well, that's their problem." If they like that name so much, should have used it as the first name. But I don't want it to be an issue and something tells me it will be. They are like that. I would feel a bit incensed if they said ANYTHING about it, as DH was much closer to the person that name comes from than BIL was, MUCH closer. And everyone in the family knows it. And this name is just so perfect, I can't think of other names, because, I just don't feel that passionate about any other boy names. Argggh.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Are you going to find out?

I was surprised that once we started telling people that we were pregnant, the first question almost everyone asked was, "Are you going to find out?"

Not 'when are you due/how far along are you' or 'are you feeling alright' or 'are you excited', but 'are you going to find out'. And that's actually how they ask it (as opposed to "Are you going to find out if it's a boy or a girl?"). If you are our parents, you probably followed up that questions with, "I hope it's a girl." No pressure of course.

Our 'big' ultrasound (aka anatomy aka morphology aka level II) was supposed to be next week, but with switching doctors, we got that switched too and it's tomorrow now. It will have been 10 weeks since we saw this kid last! And I'm excited that it's now going to be at the University's MFM group and I'm really familiar with them since their u/s techs filled in after my RE's regular tech quit. They had told me that their are big flat screen monitors on the wall for the patients to watch instead of crooking our necks trying to peak at the machine. My SIL had to have them do an extra scan and said that it's a lot nicer than the setup at the hospital she was using.

And then the big question, boy or girl? We're going to find out if we get a peak, but lately I have been feeling like I really don't care if I know or not. Which is a pretty big change, because I had been really gung ho about knowing, but now, eh. Truly, if everything else is looking good, I don't care if we don't get a peek. In fact, a significant portion of me would rather not know. But the practical side knows it will be nice to plan accordingly.

Either way, we're still really looking forward to tomorrow.

Me and hubby stepped into the "Gene Machine" many years ago to see what our future children might look like. Considering that it's a joke anyhow, I'd still say that it appears that things will turn out ok. So, for your viewing pleasure, our potential future son or daughter.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Making Progress

My husband left to go to a tractor show today and I have been chipping away at the guestroom and office.

The biggest challenge has been getting my husband to part with junk. He doesn't understand the concept of purging things. I have been working on him since we got married. It's a trait that he has inherited, I hope his parents live for ever, because I do not want to have to clean out their house someday.

For example, the Gateway cow print mousepad that came with the computer he probably got a decade ago (and no longer has) and is nearly all black with filth. Honestly, we both have optical mice, so we don't really need mousepads in the first place, but he wants one so I try to get him to use my tiger mousepad (trust me, it's cool, not some tacky animal print, it pays tribute to our university, as we are a Tiger family here). It took hours of negotiation over the last 6 months, but I have finally won. I don't think he even got rid of the old one, instead he put it in his "treasure" box (a storage box of junk that I am not allowed to question the contents of, as long as everything fits inside of it). I'm pretty sure he still has the software for that computer too... I really doubt that he will ever need a back up copy of Windows 95, but he won't budge.

He also has set of Magic, The Gathering cards. He only has them because ONE of his friends liked to play it and they haven't played it since more than a decade ago. Now this his friend is married and has a kid (and DH is about to have a kid), and they live 4 hours apart, I really doubt that he will ever use them again. But he refuses to sell or toss them. His treasure box is getting full.

Oh, yes, and CD jewel cases, don't get me started.

So with him being gone, I am majorly tempted to quietly pitch things. He'd never know. But I just can't do it. I think I can't do it because I secretly think it's fun to argue with him about this junk.

But other than the pile of junk on the floor of the office that I will have to pry from his hands later, the office is getting there. I'm at the point that I need to go buy some stuff to help me organize. I love trying to find storage solutions. I'm practically giddy for this shopping trip.

Oh, another big step happened this week that is all part of "the plan". The plan consists of a series of steps towards having a baby... the steps are something like this:

1. Get married
2. Finish grad school
3. Get job
4. Buy house
5. Get pregnant
6. New car
7. High efficiency washer/dryer
8. Baby junk
9. Have baby
10. Happily ever after

So we are good through #7 now. Although our Magic Chefs were doing ok, we'd like to do cloth diapers and wanted a fancier, more effective, higher efficiency washer and I feel pretty good about what we ended up with.

Ok, I feel a nap coming on.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


I never give my drs cutsey names, but I've got one for this new doc of mine: McSoothy.

'Mc' cause her name actually has a Mc in it and 'Soothy' because she has a soothing personality... however every time I type that I will think of Grey's Anatomy (which I hate... way too much over the top drama for me, why can't drs. get their love lives together better than that?).

I was immediately freaked in the waiting room because someone there had the flu and it was probably H1N1 because it seems the seasonal flu has not hit the area yet, but H1N1 is everywhere already. At least she had a mask on.

I waited for awhile, but really no longer than I would for an OB appointment. The Dr. actually came and got me from the waiting room herself (this was a first for me).

I think we talked for more than an hour. She didn't rush me or try to push me out. She was very good, and very soothing. And, I'm sure you couldn't tell by reading my blog, but I'm kinda high strung, so I appreciated that she was calming (but not in a freaky hippie way, just at ease). She said a lot of things that made me feel really good about the situation. We discussed tons, but here are some of the highlights:

-We talked a lot about the difference in the OB care model and the Family Practice model and I really think I saw the value in the difference.

-She delivers almost ALL of her patients. That's nice.

-She actually does perform several c-sections per month, so I feel a bit more comfortable with the thought of her potentially having to do that.

-If I start to labor before 35 weeks, she will send me directly to one of the big hospitals with a fancy NICU. I will hope this doesn't happen, and if I does, I will handle it then.

-She thinks me having a doppler is a great idea and they even loan them out occasionally.

-She usually gives her OB patients her personal cell phone number!

-She's good with the metformin.

-I'm really freaked about, ahem, tearing, and she explained how she works to avoid that and episomoties. I got the feeling from my OB that she didn't really give a damn about helping me to prevent tearing. Hearing her really address my concerns about this is a big relief. Because, vaginas ripping is just not fun.

-I explained to her some of my persistent insecurities about the pregnancy (like how my betas didn't increase appropriately, and the baby aspirin) and she said that she will send her patients to one of the high risk MFM OBs at the university hospital for additional testing and consultations and thought that might be something to do with me (if only to just confirm that everything is ok). It makes me feel good that she works with other drs like that so openly, even when I may not fit the definition of 'high risk'.

-Also, on the baby aspirin, she says she often tests her patients for MTHFR (even if they don't have any losses) and it apparently makes a difference with birth control or something too, so it's worth doing and insurance does actually cover it. She says lots of people have it.

-The nursing staff is really open to different birthing styles and they regularly have members of this one religious group come in to deliver and they are pretty all over the place with their birthing practices. Bringing a doula and birthing in a 'comfortable' position shouldn't be an issue.

-There is a big jacuzzi tub in one of the birthing suites. She says a some women come there just for the tub. Out of the 5 hospitals I was considering, this is the only one with a tub. (But you aren't suppose to give birth in it, but she says it's happened before.)

-There are only 2 birthing suites but rarely is the second one ever used, they only do a dozen or so births a month at this hospital. I just hope I don't have bad luck and hit it at a busy time for some reason.

-Since the labor and delivery unit is so quiet, often you are the only patient so you get your own nurse and your baby get's it's own nurse and you get 100% of their attention. I guess if their are 2 moms/babies, then you're at 50%, but that's probably still as good as a regular hospital or better.

-Oh, yeah, and I'm freaked about the flu right? They will have vaccinations and the OB patients get first priority on the H1N1 shots. Yay! I feel more secure knowing that their will probably be a shot waiting for just for me as soon as they get in. That's a relief.

Ok, so McSoothy might not be 'the one' and this might only be puppy love, but for now I feel a like I can cancel my other appointments and make the switch. I still feel a little uncomfortable about certain issues, but if I went to a big OB care practice again I have a set of concerns there too. I'm never going to be 100% satisfied, that's just my nature, but I felt really good about today.

She was going to try to schedule me a new morphology ultrasound elsewhere so that I don't have to go back to my old OB. I might even get it sooner than it was scheduled (it was scheduled at 21 weeks). I'm really anxious to see the baby again and I would love that. If this isn't the real deal, I'll switch again, but until then, I'm going to just let it ride.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

19 weeks

This is not the post I wanted to write today.

Today took a turn that has left me in a very foul mood... this post is a bit more spit and fire than most of mine, and rest assured, this is the censored version, I'm using all the actual 4 lettered words in my head.

My company offers NO maternity benefits (just like it offers NO infertility coverage). My ONLY option for time off is FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act). For those that are unfamiliar with FMLA, it allows you to take up to 12 weeks UNPAID vacation in a 12 month period for certain reasons (like birth or adoption of a child) and guarantees your same level of position when you return. It only applies to employers of a certain size. It may not be perfect, it may even still suck, but at least we have it, God Bless Bill Clinton (G.H.W. Bush can go to hell, he vetoed it twice).

But before I can use FMLA I have to use ALL of my saved up sick leave and vacation. I haven't taken a vacation in more than 2 freakin years because I thought I would have more flexibility in how it was used in case I ever actually got pregnant. If I would have known that, I would have take a little freakin time a while ago, because I NEED A FREAKIN VACATION.

But it get's better... I was thinking with my approximately 8 weeks of accrued sick leave and vacation, I could potentially take FMLA for up to 12 weeks on top of that for up to a total of 20 weeks (in case I ended up on bed rest or something). WRONG. Those accrued 8 weeks apparently count as part of the 12 according to my HR. Apparently they can force you to use accrued time off concurrently with FMLA.

Why the hell did I toil without a single day off (unless you count my gallbladder surgery) for the last couple years if it's not going to help me one bit?

So why the freak don't I just take a vacation now? Might as well use some of that vacation to enjoy and relax right? I'm still maxed at 12 weeks either way, whether I go into it with 6 weeks accrued time or 8 weeks... might as well enjoy a couple of them.

pisses me off. I just thought that my relatively small company had more compassion and flexibility than that. pissed.

Oh, yeah, and that vacation, I totally would, except we're living on a tight budget cause babies are expensive and we don't have the money to spend on personal enjoyment right now. And I'm kinda freaked about flying due to fear or getting sick. I wish their was somewhere close and reasonable and fun to go around here.

I was only planning on taking off 2 months, but now I know I'm screwed if things don't go off as smoothly as I planned.

And just to make the other REALLY sucky part of this clear, I'm due in early February and will have to use up all of my alloted time off. I will have zero days left for the entire rest of the year to take my kid to the doctor, or take a trip to DH's family for Christmas next year. Zero Days. I have no freakin clue what I'll do. It's not like I was able to choose what time of year I would give birth. I'm lucky to be pregnant at all, and I'm sure my company has no idea that this goes so far beyond their stupid policy.

When I found all this out today, I just closed my door and cried. I'm happy to be pregnant, and don't care what time of year I give birth, I just wish my stupid employer had a little compassion on the matter.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Making Preparations

Thinking about the 'baby room' makes my head hurt. Partially because I have no inspiration or even any drive to do anything with it. When you look at pictures of nurseries online they are to die for. Over the top cute and no telling what the price tag would be to do that in your own home.

That is not me. Would I like a super cute, everyone would envy it nursery? Oh, yes, of course. But I'm just not into spending loads of cash on something the kid will grow out of in a couple of years (we'll be spending loads of cash as it is). So my goals are safe, comfortable, and affordable. But none the less, I still find the task somewhat intimidating.

The other reason my head hurts when I think of this stuff is all the work we need to do to even get the room ready to decorate. You see, we have a small house that is pretty filled to the brim. Actually, me and my husband are amazed at how much crap we have, and if you walked through our house, it doesn't seem that bad. You're going to see the pics below and not believe me, but I swear, we are not clutter people, the bug man actually likes doing our house and tells us it's because he doesn't have to move stuff out of the way everywhere. But still, we are packing it in. Actually, most of it is packed into the guest room and office, the very rooms we need to redo to make room for baby.

The plan is that the guest room will become the baby room and the office will become the guest room/office. And our rooms are pretty tiny, so this is a squeeze.

So, to make this work, first we have to redo the office closet to fit DH's desk and computer and everything else we can manage to fit in it. Then we have to get rid of loads of other crap from the office, including my desk (I have no idea where I will work when this is all over).

Once the office is stripped, we will cram the guest room furniture into it. Then, we will completely redo the baby room's closet (I have big plans for it). And then we will finally be able to do the baby room.

And we are planning on this kid baking for about another 5 months, but I think that time will come and go rather quickly, so it's pretty important that we get the ball rolling.

So, I'm pretty embarrassed by these, be we have some 'before' pics.

Let's start in the guest room (future baby room)...

Pretty standard, bed, vanity and dresser (but to add to the fun, we will probably be swapping this set with another currently located at DH's aunt's house before the switch, probably). Not too bad.

Ugg, the closet... we have blankets, sleeping bags, blow up mattress and pump, wrapping paper, luggage, and tucked way back there, is DH's shot gun (yes, it's locked, the ammo is stored separately, and we will be finding it a new baby safe home soon). The bottom line here, is that we have a lot of junk to move out.

Now the office...

You cannot tell how bad it is from this photo at all, and this is not a true, before pic, we are nearly done with the closet at this point and there is a bunch of extra junk sitting in the office because of it. But See the ugly brown desk? That's DH's, it's getting painted white and then going in the closet. My big 'L' desk is getting junked. The printer on my desk is wireless and going in the closet which is think is a pretty cool solution. We have TONS of books and binders (not to mention DH's GIANT collection of old tractor brochures and manuals) that must find a new home soon. You can't see the shelves... one of which will be staying, one will go into the kid room and one will be sent to the basement. We still have lots of work here.

Hey, but the closet doesn't look too bad at this point. There were about 5 of the giant 'roughnecks' bins in it, and they are going downstairs. The games in the bottom must be relocated. The brackets for the shelf that the printer will sit on are installed. And you can't see it, but DH's added an outlet to plug everything in this morning already. After it is finished we will still be able to fit the wrapping paper in one side and hopefully still hang some of the blankets from the other closet on the other side.

Ok, well, back to work. Don't expect an update on this anytime too soon.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

More options

Sometimes I feel like I have too many options... and it makes it hard to make decisions. Sometimes, it's nice to have someone else make the decision for me.

Ever have a hard time trying to decide where to eat? Sometimes I wish my husband would just say, "I want to eat at Joe's this week." I like Joe's, thanks for making it easy for me and now we don't have to deliberate over the ever important decision of where to eat any longer.

But with the OB switch thing, I have lots of options and feel really overwhelmed. Truly, I'm glad that I can make the decision for myself, but that doesn't make it an easy one.

I emailed the Independent Birth Center in the area asked them for a recommendation (I really don't think I'd be a good candidate for the IBC). I got a prompt response for a Family Doctor that delivers at a hospital I didn't even know existed.

Family doctor, not obstetrician? That's a change. She apparently is trained in cesarean sections should I need one. And obviously she's not 1 in 20 doctors in a big OB practice, so that might be a big plus, because I will know with a large degree of certainty who will deliver me (although I wonder what would happen if she went on vacation or something).

This doctor was recommended because she used to do deliveries at the IBC and supports natural births. If she's used to doing natural births in a non hospital setting, that says a lot about her.

And this hospital that I didn't know existed (I was already deliberating between 4 others, so this is #5), it's a very small community hospital in a town I wasn't considering delivering in. However, it's no further away from me than where I was planning, and my husband works in that town, so that might be a plus (he didn't know they had a hospital either). And the fact that it's so small might be an advantage too because they might not use such a strict protocol and as many interventions.

But this hospital change is a HUGE mindshift. I was planning on using one of the GIGANTIC hospitals in the city with the nice level III NICUs and such. There's probably nothing wrong with a small facility, and it's not like I'm going from a hospital to a home birth setting, but I still feel a little uncomfortable with that.

I have an appointment with her a week from now. I need to really think about this and get my list of questions and insecurities together quickly now. It's another option, and it's a good option, but wish it didn't feel like such a big decision. I can't even decide where to eat most of the time.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

18 weeks

Last week's ob appointment did not go so well, but I was surprised that she told me that it was likely that I was feeling the baby and not some weird uterus irritability. She had mentioned to me early on that I probably wouldn't feel the baby until 20 weeks or so (I think most books say it usually happens between 16 and 22 weeks).

Her telling me this is really the only reason that I was worried it was something else. Cause I believe the first time I really felt it was right before 16 weeks. It was actually quite strong and caught me very off guard.

Since then, I had felt movement very infrequently, except for the last several days. The last several days I've felt movement everyday and it seems like I feel a little more each day. It's a wonderful feeling.

I usually feel movement when sitting somewhat reclined for awhile. Yesterday I got the first movements while standing. It will probably still be a long time until they can be felt from the outside (especially considering all the 'padding' I have).

On Sunday, I was kinda nervous because it was getting late in the day and I hadn't felt anything yet. I was wondering if the last couple days were a fluke. So I went to Adoration and sat in the pew and prayed to feel that baby again, and, like the miracle that it is, I felt baby again. Lots of strong little kicks. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

So I'm completely thrilled to be experiencing movement. I can't wait until I can share it with my husband.

On a less exciting note, the round ligament pains are back... with a vengeance. Most of the time they hurt, but not enough to really bother and I just enjoy knowing that my uterus is growing. But I've gotten a couple lately that have been really tough and lasted a little longer. I'm still happy to know my uterus is growing, but kinda over being excited about round ligament pains.