Monday, September 28, 2009


So it's been a year...

And mostly it's been good, really good. I started this blog honestly never expecting to get pregnant, but with hope on the horizon in the form of Dr. C. And it was a slow start. Waiting for met to work, waiting for ovulation, waiting for my cyst to die. But eventually things started working and, Holy Hell, I ovulated! It was a BFN, but to an anovulatory girl, ovulation is a victory in itself.

Then that damn gallbladder started giving me trouble again and it had to come out. And getting it out proved to be all good in the end. And Dr. C. was elevated to sainthood in my mind for giving me a diagnostic lap for free (off the books).

And I had some good times with my acupuncturist and his wife. They were very nice people and I feel that the acupuncture really helped me.

And I lost weight! Almost effortlessly. Can't beat that.

And then poor Muffy got sick. The only truly bad thing to happen to me in the last year. I still have a really hard time with her loss and I miss her so much. My new kitties are really a joy but my heart will always greive for my Muffy.

And then, for all the times in my life when I really needed something good to happen, I got pregnant. The coinciding of my pregnancy with Muffy's death is really the main reason that I didn't want to announce my pregnancy and still try not to talk about it much. Beyond me and my husband there really isn't anyone else in the world that can appreciate that conditions under which this child was conceived and how much my baby's life will always be tied to my Muffy's death. It was a wonderful miracle, but I cannot think about one without thinking about the other.

And the last couple months have been pretty boring. I've had a truly easy pregnancy so far. My worries these days are very different than the worries I had a year ago. However, I won't be able to fully lie down all of the fears I had a year ago until I'm holding my baby, alive and healthy, in my arms.

So that's where I been and this is where I am. But more than anything, I'm glad for the people that I have met along the way. You all make the difference.


Celia said...

Happy Anniversary babydoll.

Sophie A. said...

Happy Blogiversary! Thanks for sharing a little bit of your world with us :). I can say that I really know what you mean about being excited about ovulating and getting pregnant! I too never thought it'd happen to me. The reality is finally sinking in, ever so slowly... but like you too, i won't be able to breathe a sigh of relief until that kiddo's in my arms!

Michelle said...

Happy Blogiversary!

The Lynchs said...

Happy Blogiversary! I've been following you for awhile now - and I love reading about your journey! It's been so similar to my own :-)

Molly said...

Sending good thoughts and happy blogoversary!

Anonymous said...

Happy Blogiversary!!!!!

If you don't mind sharing with me, how long did it take for the met to work and for the side effects to go away?? I would appreciate any suggestions/insights that you have.

Anonymous said...

I know I'm kind of late with this, but I'm still catching up on commenting, and I wanted to say happy blogoversary!

I am so glad that you started your blog. It has been great to follow you on your journey, through the waiting and the cycles, and the surgery, through Muffy's illness, and finally this happy chapter. I am so happy for you that you are where you are now, and I hope you continue blogging, because I want to follow your story!