You know what's funny? Despite the fact that I am 30 weeks pregnant, there are still plenty of times when I don't feel pregnant at all. Weird right?
I think I associate "feeling" pregnant with physical discomforts and baby kicks and when those aren't happening, and I'm not trying to pick something off the floor, I don't really notice it. Other than some swelling and breathing issues (ok, that one kinda really sucks), this has been an easy pregnancy. Sometimes I think something is starting up but then the problem never really substantiates. Like constipation or heartburn or avoiding spicy foods. I don't normally even get up more than once per night. Trust me, I'm very glad that even at 30 weeks I can still eat massive amounts of salsa.
But, I still have moments of insecurity. I will wake up at night to go to the bathroom and my stomach won't seem different from "normal" and I will think, "Oh, it was all a dream," or sometimes that I somehow delivered already but we didn't come home with the baby. I seriously go just a little nuts in the night and when I sit back down in the recliner, usually, the baby starts kicking and I feel much better and go back to sleep. It's not a nightmare, I'm awake, and it keeps happening. Not the best feeling in the world... but the baby kicking is.
Speaking of waking up the baby... I woke up about 4:30 this morning and could feel a slight headache coming on. Usually when this happens it means I'm a little dehydrated and I grabbed my water bottle next to the recliner and drank a little and tried to get back to sleep. But this woke up the baby. Normally I wouldn't care but I was upset b/c my BPP and NST were scheduled for this morning and I figured if he was awake now he would be asleep for those. And I was right. He moved maybe twice during the NST... I wasn't worried because I knew why he wasn't moving (cause he was kicking up a storm this moring) and my MFM wasn't concerned, but after last weeks performance it was too bad I couldn't show off my kicker again. But everything was still good, perfect BPP and NST, amniotic fluid was a 12.
Tonight I made pumpkin bread and my pie crusts*. Tomorrow morning I will make a pumpkin pie to take to DH's family. We are also suppose to bring a side this year, so I'm making a potato leek gratin that I haven't made in years, I hope it tastes as good as I remember (it's a little different... it's got sour cream and dijon mustard in it and is topped with swiss cheese).
I'm glad that tomorrow when someone asks me what I am most thankful for, I can answer without hesitation that it's the life growing inside of me. What a wonderful gift.
*Fun thing to try when pregnant: Buying vodka and explaining it's for pie crust.