Yesterday we went to my Brother and SIL's for my nephew's first birthday (they shall be referred to as B&A). My family was there along with A's whole family.
My mom was being my mom, which annoys me enough, but I was really ticked off at her yesterday and it took me until this morning to put my finger on why. It mostly had to do with the fact that she kept acting like she cared about me and my pregnancy in front of everyone, when she does not.
She never said anything nice to me while we were going through treatment. She never called to ask how things were going or try to offer support. When
Since getting pregnant she hasn't bothered to ask me anything or try to help in anyway or act like she cares in general. We told her when the gender scan would be and I talked (ok actually, she talks for about 2 hours straight while I just say "ok" over and over again and then she says goodbye and hangs up, often with out ever asking me a question about myself) to her on the phone after but she never asked about the scan and I decided not to remind her about it. After all, she wanted a girl so badly, I knew telling her it was a boy would probably only disappoint her. My dad called a few weeks later and asked.
I hadn't even talked to her since that phone call (about 7 weeks now). So she really shouldn't act like she has had any involvement with this pregnancy.
She doesn't even know I switched doctors and hospitals. She doesn't know I was sent to a high risk OB and was put on a high risk schedule. She hasn't even ever asked if we had a nursery theme picked out.
I just want to scream at her that you have to EARN the "Grandma" title, cause right now I don't see any reason for her to be a significant part of our lives.
If weren't for my Dad, I
So basically I felt like it was convenient for her to pretend that she cares about me and the baby yesterday in front of all of A's family and I don't appreciate being used like that.
I have tried to resolve some of my issues with my mother many, many times in the past, but she always immediately launches in to her defensive position to act like she is being bullied and miss treated and starts screaming and crying and making me the bad guy (really, it's quite a spectacle). Everyone in my family knows her game, but you can't call her out on it because she will deny it until she dies. It's just not worth it anymore.
Another thing that irked my about yesterday (and actually isn't my mom's fault) is that I was kinda hoping that we might get some hand me downs from B&A that Barrett has outgrown. So far nothing has been mentioned or offered and I would feel rude to bring it up myself. My other brother and SIL passed all of my older nephew's baby things on to my parents for whoever needed it... well I didn't get to it first (obviously, no matter how hard I tried), so B&A took everything. So I kinda feel like it would be nice for them pass some stuff on too but I don't think they have any intention of doing that. And I'd be willing to give it back if they wanted it for future children, because IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO. And my older nephew's mom even made the comment to me during the party about how, "We can just keep passing everything on!" Yeah, except that chain seem to have broken. It kinda hurts my feelings.