Sunday, December 27, 2009

Christmas with the Family

So me and my mom haven't been getting along so well (for the last 26 years)...

We got into an argument before Thanksgiving. I told her I was through playing her games and was willing to admit that I haven't been perfect in our relationship if she was willing to also. In stead she decided to keep up the BS and scream and cry and tell me what I bully I am. So DH and I decided that our presence was not required at Thanksgiving.

My dad started up the conversations with me again a few weeks later and eventually pushed me into talking with my mom because she went out and bought tons of baby stuff... which was very nice, but this is part of the game too. She tries to control us with things and money and knew she could get back in. And I let her and accepted her gifts. I thought things might be different, at least for awhile.

But Christmas...

DH and I decided that we would go to Christmas with my family on Saturday. I called early in the day because I wanted to make sure what time we were eating and what time they served lunch at my Grandma's nursing home because we were going to stop and visit her on our way there. Well, that annoyed the hell out of her. Don't ask me why, she's just in a bad mood to begin with 97% of the time, so it doesn't take much.

Then, my poor sister called to ask about dinner too and my mom ripped off her head, so she decided not to come at all. I talked to her later and her feelings were if my mom can't be happy about anything and 100% negative, she didn't want to be around her. I don't blame her, she was better off staying home.

So as soon as we arrived at the house, we were all in hot water... for being alive. It was just horrible behavior ontop of more horrible behavior from her.

I asked if there was something I could do to help get dinner ready and she replied, "Cut me some slack in life." (Um, I had just got there FYI).

She yelled at everyone and had unprovoked breakdown after unprovoked breakdown. She proceeded to chastise my two SILs for spending holidays with their own families (even though they always make it for my family's celebrations too).

My poor nephew even took a verbal beating from her after he tried to say something nice.

After the evening was over and everyone had headed home, I called my sister and SILs. One of my SILs was in tears after being chastised for spending time with her family... my mom was acting in particularly bad taste since her grandma had just died (and my mom knew this), and my SIL really does do a good job of making it to family events and letting my parents see the grandchild frequently. My other SIL is so used to being put down by my mom it doesn't even phase her anymore.

I found out from my sister that my mom has been telling everyone that I don't want to talk about the pregnancy and that the subject is 100% off limits. That explains a lot. I found out from one of my SILs that my mom told her I hated her and my nephew. My mom is effing nuts.

I am really, REALLY done with this crap. She needs professional help and you can't get her to get any, and I can't do it for her. Their is coming a day, soon, when I lay it out for her, Get help or else. My child doesn't need to be exposed to this.

Oh, at least I've got some cuddly kitties.

(even blurry, they are still adorable)


Kate said...

Ugh - my Mom can be hard to deal with at times, but cannot possibly compete with yours. Sorry she made the holidays so unpleasant. More stress is not what you need to deal with as you're getting closer to delivery and settling into life with your baby. Hope she shapes up, or you successfully manage to cut her out entirely.

Celia said...

So cuddley!

I really don't like my own Mom and it is only a sense of duty that keeps me with her.

Michelle said...

Wow! That sucks she went and made Christmas so crazy. I agree though, you definitely don't need to expose your kid to that! We've cut out certain people when K came along due to the same craziness. I hope she wakes up and realizes what she is going to miss out on if she doesn't change.
Cute pic of that cats though. They look like they are best friends :)

The Wife said...

I'm sorry your mom was so crappy. And it's just wicked that she's trying to sabotage your relationships with your SILs. The cats are the cutest!