This week between my MFM and McSoothy I think we finally got to the hard questions.
First, I talked with my MFM about when I would have to deliver by. He does not want my going beyond 40 weeks. I guess I should consider myself lucky he didn't say 39.
Then today McSoothy finally did an internal exam on me, and the result was as I feared... I, ummm, may not be big enough to deliver vaginally. She thinks I could if the baby is in a really good position but right now it could go either way. We also talked about induction a bit because I won't be allowed to go over.
And surprisingly, I'm not really bothered by any of this, in fact, I almost found it relieving.
You see, I have been tremendously worried/anxious about delivering because I knew I wasn't working with the same stretchy, miraculous birth canal that most women have. I used to think all gyns were sick SOBs because every time they'd put a speculum in me, it was quite painful... I think they enjoyed me yelping. And me and DH waited for sex until marriage, which turned out to be a good thing, because it was painful... not that terrible, but not something I probably would have put up with if I weren't married to the guy. But after a year of marriage, I knew something was really wrong and not getting better on its own. And that's why I loved my former OB... she actually took the time to figure out that I wasn't stretching correctly down there (I wasn't clamping down or anything, it just seriously does not stretch) and prescribe me "dilators" to make things more comfortable which worked remarkably well after just a few weeks, to my amazement. (And I really, really loved my former OB for that reason which is why I really didn't want to have to leave her after she was such a bitch to me.) So now that I have revealed my personal TMI of TMI stories, that's why I've been so worried about a big baby and perineal massaging and such.
Anyhow, things are still pretty narrow down there and I just feel a little relieved that McSoothy was upfront with me on the real situation. At first I thought I was just doomed for an episiotomy, but no, it turns out it's actually so bad that the preferred solution is a c-section. I still don't want a c-section, but seriously, the other option could be SERIOUS tearing. Knowing that my dr. won't let me deliver vaginally if she thinks it will result in ripping vagina to anus is a relief.
I'm to the point now that I just want the baby out and safe... I'm getting more and more freaked out about something going wrong at the end and these last 2 appointments have actually made me feel better. I'll take what I can get.
The baby is doing great... lots of movement, great BPP and NST. AFI=14. I think he wants out as much as I want him out (in a good way).