Thursday, January 7, 2010

36 weeks

This week between my MFM and McSoothy I think we finally got to the hard questions.

First, I talked with my MFM about when I would have to deliver by. He does not want my going beyond 40 weeks. I guess I should consider myself lucky he didn't say 39.

Then today McSoothy finally did an internal exam on me, and the result was as I feared... I, ummm, may not be big enough to deliver vaginally. She thinks I could if the baby is in a really good position but right now it could go either way. We also talked about induction a bit because I won't be allowed to go over.

And surprisingly, I'm not really bothered by any of this, in fact, I almost found it relieving.

You see, I have been tremendously worried/anxious about delivering because I knew I wasn't working with the same stretchy, miraculous birth canal that most women have. I used to think all gyns were sick SOBs because every time they'd put a speculum in me, it was quite painful... I think they enjoyed me yelping. And me and DH waited for sex until marriage, which turned out to be a good thing, because it was painful... not that terrible, but not something I probably would have put up with if I weren't married to the guy. But after a year of marriage, I knew something was really wrong and not getting better on its own. And that's why I loved my former OB... she actually took the time to figure out that I wasn't stretching correctly down there (I wasn't clamping down or anything, it just seriously does not stretch) and prescribe me "dilators" to make things more comfortable which worked remarkably well after just a few weeks, to my amazement. (And I really, really loved my former OB for that reason which is why I really didn't want to have to leave her after she was such a bitch to me.) So now that I have revealed my personal TMI of TMI stories, that's why I've been so worried about a big baby and perineal massaging and such.

Anyhow, things are still pretty narrow down there and I just feel a little relieved that McSoothy was upfront with me on the real situation. At first I thought I was just doomed for an episiotomy, but no, it turns out it's actually so bad that the preferred solution is a c-section. I still don't want a c-section, but seriously, the other option could be SERIOUS tearing. Knowing that my dr. won't let me deliver vaginally if she thinks it will result in ripping vagina to anus is a relief.

I'm to the point now that I just want the baby out and safe... I'm getting more and more freaked out about something going wrong at the end and these last 2 appointments have actually made me feel better. I'll take what I can get.

The baby is doing great... lots of movement, great BPP and NST. AFI=14. I think he wants out as much as I want him out (in a good way).


Celia said...

I feel afraid to deliver vaginally, I don't have a legit reason- I am just a chicken. I am glad you two are doing well.

Michelle said...

Since sharing the TMI, I'd say I'd be pretty terrified of trying naturally if they were saying that.
K was 7.7 and I had trouble at the end with him. He got stuck and I had an episiotomy. Recovery SUCKED. Baby size will be watched closer to the end next time around apparently.
I hope that everything goes smoothly for you and that your little guy has an easy delivery.

meggo said...

If he's saying you might be better off with a section due to that issue, I'd be quick to jump on it with your issue. Tearing that way sounds horrible! I'm glad your appt set you at ease!

The Wife said...

Wow. One of my friends had the same issue and almost tore all the way. It sucks big time. As much as we all don't want c-sections, if faced with that possibility I might prefer a c-section.

Michelle said...

I'm glad to hear your doing well. Wow.. that's scary tearing from front to back. When the time comes you and your doctor will make the right decision.

Sophie said...

Yeah, you've definitely got an awesome doc. You know, I've had the same problem my whole life and thought it was normal to hurt. They have to use the pediatric thingamajig when they give me paps--and the times they used the metal ones, I thought I was gonna die :/! I was just reading in one of my preg books the other day that sometimes c-section moms recover faster from the pain than episiotomy moms. I've also read that a "natural" tear hurts less and heals faster than an epi--but I am definitely not speaking from experience, because it all sounds painful to me! But yeah, I'd rather have a belly scar than a tear down there. :/ It's a good thing we get such a cute prize after the whole thing's over though! Seriously, I keep checking my blog for updates from your blog--counting down for you :). You'll need to tell us all about it after!! :D

Good Egg Hatched said...

Loved your comment on my post -- you crack me up, always tell it like it is. I need to learn to be snarkier! I forgot to mention that the only sleepwear that fits is my husband's boxer shorts. Good times.

I'm very glad that you'd gotten to the bottom of your issue previously and are aware of it to the extent that you're making smart plans now. That tearing does not sound like a good idea. Whichever way they come, I'm happy our little ones will be here soon.

The Lynchs said...

Oooh - tearing badly down there does not sound fun at all! At least they won't let you go to far over...and maybe you'll even go a little bit early!

Anonymous said...

I can understand you not wanting a c section, but with your situation, it definitely seems like a good idea! I was disappointed about having to have surgery too, but I think it was much better than a serious tear. A week after the c section, I felt pretty good, and each day I feel a little bit better. My incision still hurts here and there when I stretch too far or move the wrong way, but at least I can pee and poo with no pain whatsoever!

I think the anxiety near the end is totally normal. I was so so so paranoid that I would go for an NST and there would be no heartbeat. Not much made me feel better until I saw her and heard her cry in the operating room.

Just a few more weeks! I'm so excited for you!