Saturday, February 13, 2010

2 weeks old

My little man is 2 weeks today. This would be a good time to be sentimental about time flying, but mostly I'm just scared of being alone with him starting Tuesday next week.

Because, this parenting thing is HARD. The BFing makes it harder and easier. It would be lovely to tell my husband to take him so that I can get a nice long nap, but I can't. But if we ever get accomplished with it, it will be nice to not have to worry about formula or bottles, but I'm worried we may never get that far with the problems we've had.

I think the stopping feeding on the right has hurt my supply. My right side has always had more supply than my left for some reason and cutting it back to pumping only a couple of times a day and no comfort nursing made me really nervous that he wasn't eating enough. Also, he's figured out what the pacifier is and wants nothing to do with it. I never had trouble keeping him satisfied before, but it has been a lot more stressful around here the last couple of days.

So today he was crying so much and I couldn't pump again for at least an hour and I couldn't let him comfort nurse and he wouldn't take the pacifier and I didn't know what to do, so I agonized and gave him a couple ounces of formula. I hated it. (By the way, formula smells gross.)

I've always felt there was more to the comfort nursing than just comfort so after the formula was gone I decided to say eff it, and if he wants to comfort nurse I think I should try to accommodate some of it as long as it doesn't hurt me.

I also went ahead and let him nurse off my right side again and it went really well and I didn't cry or cuss or anything. But even though it went well, I'm not sure if he still damaged my nipple more or not because a bunch of the scabbing that had formed seems to be gone... not sure if that is good or bad or anything really.

I'm still supposed to be pumping the right some and not put it back to 100% use for awhile, but the pumping is a giant PIA. I can't get as much as he gets and I have to do something with him while I pump, which is ok with DH around, but after DH goes back to work that situation is going to get much harder. And the only time he sleeps really well is after eating a bunch and passing out... but if I don't have anything to feed him he won't pass out. If I have to go back to exclusively pumping on the right, this just isn't going to work.

The one thing I have been REALLY glad about is that the labor and birth was easy and I didn't have a lot of recovery. But the thing that surprised me is that even with the world's easiest labor and delivery how much recovery there still is.

For one, the swelling got so much worse after delivery. The swelling wasn't just below the knee after delivery, it was my entire legs. I could barely pull my maternity jeans on over my thighs before leaving the hospital. It took a good 10 days to get back to normal, in fact, I love to look at my normal feet right now, I haven't seen them in months.

I also had really bad headaches that couldn't be helped. People talk about epidural headaches, but I didn't have one, so I think the hormones were at play. And I missed my flaxseed for several days, which always screws up my sinuses. It was pretty miserable living with 24hour headaches for about a week.

My back hurt a bit... not terribly badly, but mostly just to lay down. I wasn't sure if it was because of my pelvis pulling apart during delivery or the fact that I hadn't slept in a bed since nearly 6 moths. Around 10 days I started hearing these "pops" and I assume they were from my pelvis coming back together. After a couple of those my back felt much better again.

Some other things I wasn't expecting is the hot flashes and chills to be so bad. It took about 10 days for those to get under control. And digestive hell kinda broke loose for awhile too. I figure between giving birth, my intestines shifting about, hormones and cold chills, getting one of the antibiotic doses for the group B strep, and all the DAMN COLACE they kept shoving down my throat after delivery it figures, but not pleasant when you are trying to feed an infant and then have to go, NOW. (Amanda's tip: If you never had constipation during pregnancy and didn't have a traumatic delivery and didn't take any narcotics and they try to offer you stool softners, pass on them until you know you're having issues.)

So even with an easy delivery still look forward to swelling, headaches, backaches, hot flashes, chills, diarrhea, and, of course, lots and lots of bleeding. Thankfully, all of these problems were short lived. At least I was physically able to do all the physical things I needed to take care of him. We are VERY thankful for that.

Oh, but was he worth it.


Anonymous said...

He is so cute! 2 weeks already!

I was scared to death about being alone when S went back to work, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. Just don't expect to do anything those first few days alone. I think I stayed in bed with her until 2pm that first day. Don't attempt to do laundry or anything productive!

I'm sorry he won't take the pacifier. Birdie took it in the hospital on her 3rd day just fine but since then, she can't keep it in her mouth for more than a couple seconds.

We've supplemented with formula probably 5 or so times now and I hate doing it, but sometimes she is just ravenous and I have nothing for her. Yes, it smells absolutely horrid.

I'm struggling with that dilemma of when to pump too. It's so hard to find time to do it when I'm alone.

I'm sorry about the swelling and the headaches and other issues. I hope that things improve rapidly for you and that the transition to your DH going back to work isn't too bad.

Celia said...

He is just darling! Maybe you could try a different brand of pacifier? I don't know. How is the cloth diapering going? We are going to use disposables for the first month since we figure there will be quite enough to do anyway.

I am REALLY looking forward to getting my body back. Or at least parts of it.

Kate said...

He's just lovely!
I hope the BFing thing starts to work a little better in the near future and that righty heals quickly. It sounds so rough - can't say I'm much looking forward to trying it in the near future. Especially when my boobs have barely grown during pregnancy and I'm a little worried that I won't have enough milk for the kid. Guess I'll play it by ear!

amanda said...

Oh, he's so cute!

I know it probably doesn't feel like it, but you're doing great. Those early weeks are HARD. Breastfeeding issues, hormones going haywire, a little one who needs stuff all the time, well it's just freaking hard.

I was terrified when Dan went back to work at 2 weeks, too. Hang in there, though.

I was curious about how the cloth diapering has been going, too, not that you have the time or energy to write a detailed post about it at this point. :)

Sophie said...

What kind of pump are you using? A friend of mine had a lot of complications during her labor and couldn't nurse right after, as a result, so she was actually able to get a prescription written up for an electric pump--she didn't have to pay a dime because the insurance covered it! I was impressed, not sure if that's something you could look into. I hear you on the formula; I haven't smelled it in years but I do remember the revolting aroma.

He looks great at 2 weeks, wide-eyed and alert--cutie!

Amanda said...

My ins only covers a hand pump, however my FSA will reimburse for any pump as long as I have a diagnosed latch problem, so I had McSoothy write me a script for a pump last week.

Michelle said...

He is so cute!!
I hope things get easier with the breastfeeding and you are able to stick with it. Even though what you are saying sounds so painful, I still regret not attempting it. Formula does stink, and it's a pain in the butt to keep up with bottles and sleep deprived issues.
Good luck with your first week on your own with the little guy. I think it's great your husband has been able to be off with you that long! I had 1 full day home before I was on my own.