Wednesday, April 7, 2010

One more week

before I go back to work.

I was going to start back this week, but then his daycare has a teacher training day Friday, so I figured that I'd just wait until next week. I'm starting back on Wednesday because a full week of work sounds pretty intimidating to start out.

I haven't ever forced the kid into a schedule but I have tried to encourage him to develop a schedule that we can both be happy with. Like at night, we are really doing pretty well, but it took weeks to get him to this point.

But we aren't anywhere near a day schedule... some days I can't get him to sleep at all (like today) and other days I can barely wake him before 1pm, and there isn't any kind of pattern or trigger to it that I can tell. I'm going to feel really bad for the kid while he's adjusting to the daycare's schedule, but I think he will be happier actually. Cause the days that I can't get him to sleep he really isn't a happy boy, he's just too tired, so if they can get him to a more consistent day time schedule and we can eliminate those bad days it will be good for him.

And I think the bottle feeding will really make a difference. He used to "snacking" all day and cat napping. Having a big filling bottle will help him to take a nap better, I think.

I think I've found him a good daycare. It was tough to find a spot, but the one I've enrolled him in is really, really close to my office and a new facility. The babies (0-24 months) are in a separate building from the older kids. The teachers are young and no one smelled like smoke. I didn't see a TV anywhere in the baby house. The feed the older children organic food and teach baby sign language. And they are willing to do the cloth diapers. I hope everything is as good as it seems.

And a big part of me wishes I could just stay at home with him. Right now, the thought of being apart from him all day is very sad, but I know we need to do it and I know it will get easier. I'm not cut out for this SAHM stuff. I just need more. And I feel ashamed to say this, but I get worn out staying home. My brain doesn't like doing the same thing all the time, I get bored. I need to go to work and get bored there so that I can be a better mom, if that makes any sense. And honestly, my paid job is much easier than being SAHM (I bet all the guys I work with would deny that). And I need to not be mad at my husband for not clinging to my every word as I describe our exciting day at home.

So a week. I hope it doesn't go too fast.


missing_one said...

*hugs* It's hard. I know I hate being away but also that staying at home is so hard. I'm being laid off at the end of this school year and am mortified. I stayed at home 2 years with my first, and it was so hard. Then I got a part time job in the mornings and that was perfect. I could do both.

good luck with everything. I'm sure baby will have a blast! It's still hard on us mamas!

Leah said...

I know exactly how you feel!! Well, kind of! A lot of my friends want to be SAHMs, and I just can't even imagine doing that! I need more! I have the same feelings there. I don't have kids yet (just starting the journey with PCOS) and there is only a tiny little part of me that thinks I might want to stay home, but I just don't think that's me. I would be bored. :) So, more power to ya! And he'll get the on a schedule! As a teacher, I know that a schedule is the best thing you can do for children! It may be hard, but stick with it! Do what you can before you take him next week!

Kate said...

This is what I'll be sying come June, except DH will be looking after K for the second 3 months, and it'll be daycare after that.
Hope it's not too awful and work's great again.

The Lynchs said...

That daycare sounds awesome! I have lots of friends that have really struggled trying to find good ones! So YAY!!!

Celia said...

Mister has said repeatedly that I am going to have the harder job and he can't wait to go back to work and get a break. You are a better, stronger Mom for knowing what you need and you will both be happier for it.

I know what I am in for as a SAHM, and what I am afraid of is something I never anticipated. I am scared I am going to bore my husband.

Michelle said...

Awww that went by very fast!
Being a SAHM is definitely not for everyone. I never pictured myself as staying home, till I was told I had to go on leave early and then by the time I was cleared to go back, I couldn't do it. As long as I keep us busy, I can handle it just fine. I'm lucky that I'm able to go when I please or else this definitely would not work. I get bored if we are home too many days in a row.
The daycare sounds like a really good one, and great that it's close to your work! It won't take him long to get on a routine there I bet. I hope that the week doesn't go by too fast, and that your transition back goes smoothly.

Celia said...

Amanda you made me feel so much better. Sometimes I want to just punch my husband because he is snoring and I am awake playing milkmaid.

Anonymous said...

It sounds like you have found a great daycare arrangement! I know what you mean about a schedule. Some days birdie will take a 3 hour morning nap and a 2 hour afternoon nap. Other days I'm lucky to get 30 minutes.

Going back to work will probably be hard, but it sounds like you are in a good space about it. I don't really have a choice in that I haven't been working because I can't find a job in my field here. I am mostly relieved not to have to go back to work, but there is definitely a part of me that craves time away. Either way it is hard.