Sunday, May 23, 2010

The calm after the storm

The inlaws visited this weekend.

First, just let me say that my inlaws are wonderful, kind, generous, good people. My MIL is a saint and FIL is a kind hearted man. So I hate it that I don't really like visiting with them. That probably doesn't say good things about me.

Part of the problem is that DH's family always travels in a herd. We never get to just visit with his parents. There are always a couple of aunts and Grandma too... if not the entire family. That just makes things much harder and particularly when working with a baby. I said something to DH about being not looking forward to the visit because of this, and the next day plans changed and only his parents were coming up for Sat and then just an aunt and Grandma on Sunday. I don't know if he said something to them or not, but I felt better about this.

Another reason I was not looking forward to the visit was because of previous visits with DH's parents since Michael was born. The herd came in when Michael was a couple of weeks old. M kept getting upset and I could tell he was hungry (all the kid did those days was eat) and MIL wouldn't give me the kid to comfort and feed. I usually try to keep him from getting too upset and I kept trying to get him from her and she just wouldn't take the hint. He was crying and she kept saying, "Oh, do you need Grandma?" and "You need a bottle." Finally, FIL in his billowing voice said, "No, he needs Mama!"

Oh, and a another thing... MIL is kinda deaf. She needs hearing aids very badly and won't get them. BIL and SIL have been pressing her for years to get some. And she won't tell you when she didn't hear something and acts like she understood you... so I never really know how much she is hearing when I talk. And it's harder with the baby, because I don't want to yell for her to hear me and wake or scare the baby... and I'm having bad sinus problems right now, so my voice gets horse pretty badly if I talk too much or too loudly. All kinda a recipe for disaster.

Saturday things were fine with MIL until M got fussy. I finally got her to hand him over and then he calmed and I was staring at him trying to assess if he was really fine or needed something and MIL is literally wrapping her hands around trying to pull him out of mine. Not cool. He's my baby, I'll hand him over when I feel like it. I basically ignored her and she eventually quit.

I know she doesn't get to see him a lot, but I kinda feel like I don't get to see him that much either... most week nights he's only awake for an hour or so before he's down for the nights. Also, he is pretty clingy and kinda a high maintenance baby. His cousin is probably one of the easiest going babies around and she can just take him and run off with him whenever she wants, but it's not that way with M.

I think she may have got the hint and was a little better after that.

Another thing that seemed to be a bit of an issue this weekend was the breastfeeding. I don't like feeling like I have to hide to nurse in my own house. I decided that when he got hungry this weekend that I would just take him into his room and partially close the door so that I am not completely cut off from what ever else is going on. At one point DH and FIL had left to look at something and M got fussy and I decided try to nurse him in the living room with MIL there. I think it weirded out MIL and she walked out on the deck until I got up with him (and I nurse very discretely, fyi). Then later when everyone was back I'd finished feeding M in his room and he fell asleep so I walked back out into the living room holding him and sat down on the empty couch. In typical M fashion, he wiggled in his sleep to find my breast and I obliged and VERY discretely pulled it out and gave it to him and he slept and comfort nursed for a long while. In my opinion, if you want to talk about the beauty of a mother nursing her child, this a wonderful example. Nothing is sweeter than when he's asleep on the breast... it's just the most perfect time. And it just looks like I'm holding my baby. But MIL quickly got up and when out on the deck. FIL just kept in his chair across the room from me. I would have tried to have a conversation with her about it, but she can't hear. Who knows what she would have picked up only catching every couple of words of that conversation.

Oh well...

Sunday we got a surprise when an extra aunt and uncle showed up for lunch. Should have expected that.

M napped really well and to their disappointment didn't come up until they were almost ready to leave. But, on the bright side for us, he is finally getting a more consistent daytime schedule.

And just an update on a few other things about M: He had the best day ever at daycare the other day. He ate well, napped well, was in a good mood. And he appeared to be cutting his first tooth at the same time. It seems to be coming up slowly, but he's managing well. He's also started squealing. It's pretty funny when he does it, but a little hard to deal with in church. He has also discovered his tongue and likes sticking it out a lot, which I am just eating up right now. He's also standing really well when supported right now. DH has been working on it with him and it's paying off, his little legs are strong. He's going to sleep with out needing a swaddle most of the time and I can even put him down awake and he will soothe himself asleep and that takes a lot of pressure off of me to nurse him into a coma to sleep.

So it was quite a weekend between loads of family and M showing off his news skills.

And how am I doing? Fine :)


Kate said...

Sounds like quite the weekend. Glad you're doing well. Sorry MIL is so dense, and particularly awful about nursing. I whip it out pretty much anywhere without shame. Don't enjoy latching on in public much, but it can be done fairly discretely. After that there's not much to see anyhow. If you feel uncomfortable, just don't look!

Michelle said...

Glad to hear you guys are doing well and that daycare is getting a little easier.
I am sure there will be drama all around with nursing if I have another. My family doesn't get why someone would bother, and my husband's side, it's totally unheard of. If people want to walk away and act all weird, fine. At least you are able to get some uninterupted bonding time with your baby.

Lucy said...

The whole bf thing and not letting you feed him when you need to sounds so annoying! Glad you're not succumbing to THEIR embarrassment, as there's no need to be embarrassed or hide bfing!

Celia said...

I hate hiding to nurse in my own home. But I know my poor Dad would be embarrassed. I am with you 110% on grabby MILs. Ugh. I get a little tired of Peter comfort nursing. He can hang out for hours and I get fidgety. I wish he would take a pacifier.

The Lynchs said...

Wow! Sounds like a hectic weekend! Weekends like that I can only be thankful to survive! Hahaha!

~Jess said...

Glad you guys survived the weekend. It is hard to deal with family members that are deaf. My grandfather is and he's had a hearing aid, but it hasn't helped in about 8 years. Love the head nods like he understands what you're saying.

YAY for starting to get a schedule! only in the past 2 weeks has that happened around here.