Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Remembering

Muffy died a year ago today.

This last year has been tough. Loosing someone is hard, even when it's 'just' a pet. I can't tell you how many times I've thought of her and cried. Every time I found one of her hairs (on something I know couldn't have come from the new cats) I would get weepy. And I find myself very sad about how much of her I have forgotten. It's inevitable, and forgetting has probably helped to dull the pain of loss, but it's still sad knowing that I will loose more and more of all that I have left of her.

One thing I do remember is the day we got Muffy. She was a kitten from one of my sister's cat's (Tinker) litter. My sister brought her over and we were sitting on the couch and my sister would drag her finger along the fabric and Muffy would chase after it. She was MY little grey kitten.

But years later I would get annoyed at my dad for calling her the "brown cat." Muffy wasn't brown, she was grey. Then one day I looked at her, really looked at her, and she was kinda brown and not really grey at all like she was when she was a kitten.

Isn't it funny how we tend to remember something one way and not notice when it changes? Sometimes it takes an old picture to remind us exactly how much has changed.

In the months following Muffy's death, I reread my Yesterday post hundreds of times. Several times a day at first, then just a few, then a couple of times a week, then a month.... So I clicked on it and read it again the other day, after not having read it in a very long time. I looked at the pictures... Muffy looked so skinny and frail and, well, just awful. And she was, but it was hard to look at those pictures, because that's not how I remember her. I remember a plump, 10lb cat, with shimmering fur.

So today I went through some old photos. Here is the cat I remember.




5 comments:

Celia said...

Our Shaggy has been gone years and we keep his picture on our fridge. We miss him terribly. My heart just broke for you when Muffy died. Nothing my husband and I have ever been though was as hard as putting our cat to sleep.

The Wife said...

My dog Joey has been gone almost 7 years and I still tear up when I think about him and those last few days. The pictures you posted today are a wonderful way to remember Muffy.

Suraita said...

I saw a woman walking a dog yesterday that looked like the dog my family had about thirteen years ago and it made me miss my dog.

Muffy looks like such a sweet cat.

amanda said...

I had a remembrance moment of my two girl kitties today, too. My brother called with news that his dog is having renal difficulties. It just made me think of everything that we went through with our kitties.

I know Muffy was a special girl. Hugs to you.

Michelle said...

Awwww. I still think about Muffy from time to time because there is a cat at the nearby farm, looks just like the one picture you posted last year.
My childhood pet was put down over 4 yrs ago now, and it's still hard at times. Part of that is because Zoey is getting older and looks a lot like her. I am dreading what is to come for Zoey....When they are more than a family pet, it's like your child....I hate when people say Oh it's just a pet and expect you to forget and move on like they never existed.