Muffy died a year ago today.
This last year has been tough. Loosing someone is hard, even when it's 'just' a pet. I can't tell you how many times I've thought of her and cried. Every time I found one of her hairs (on something I know couldn't have come from the new cats) I would get weepy. And I find myself very sad about how much of her I have forgotten. It's inevitable, and forgetting has probably helped to dull the pain of loss, but it's still sad knowing that I will loose more and more of all that I have left of her.
One thing I do remember is the day we got Muffy. She was a kitten from one of my sister's cat's (Tinker) litter. My sister brought her over and we were sitting on the couch and my sister would drag her finger along the fabric and Muffy would chase after it. She was MY little grey kitten.
But years later I would get annoyed at my dad for calling her the "brown cat." Muffy wasn't brown, she was grey. Then one day I looked at her, really looked at her, and she was kinda brown and not really grey at all like she was when she was a kitten.
Isn't it funny how we tend to remember something one way and not notice when it changes? Sometimes it takes an old picture to remind us exactly how much has changed.
In the months following Muffy's death, I reread my Yesterday post hundreds of times. Several times a day at first, then just a few, then a couple of times a week, then a month.... So I clicked on it and read it again the other day, after not having read it in a very long time. I looked at the pictures... Muffy looked so skinny and frail and, well, just awful. And she was, but it was hard to look at those pictures, because that's not how I remember her. I remember a plump, 10lb cat, with shimmering fur.
So today I went through some old photos. Here is the cat I remember.