Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Ambition

I feel lucky that I didn't have a bunch of friends that headed down the aisle before me and I didn't have to sit back and contain my jealously as they grew baby bumps. It's hard to sit back and wonder when it will be your turn as your friends leave you behind.

Actually, I usually feel a bit less ambitious than my friends from high school and college because I got married and had a baby. I'm very proud of my friends... so many of them are doing exciting things with their lives. Living in foreign countries, politics, dolphin training, film making and directing, med school, law school. I have such ambitious friends that I feel like total slacker because I only have a BS and MS degrees in engineering.

I wonder if they think about me say to themselves, "Too bad Amanda is so tied down with her husband and baby."

Their ambition has been manifested in their careers. But I was diagnosed with complete anovulation and PCOS as a teenager. I was smart enough and good in school... I wasn't ever worried about what I would 'do' with my life, I was worried I wouldn't have a child to share it with. So my ambition was put into having a family.

So I have never done so many of the exciting things many of my friends have been able to do, but I have been ambitious. I'm happy about where I am in life, and that's what matters.

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Hey, are you reading this? Then you are a reader of my blog and you should try to win my ovary by leaving a comment about yourself in the post below before Friday! Google tells me I have 54 followers (not that you have to be a follower... just a reader), so I'm expecting a few more comments.

6 comments:

Michelle said...

I know what you mean. But I never went to college. I was working full time my senior year of hs, was the first of my friends to move out on my own, and definitely the first to get married, just a week after I turned 19. They all thought I was absolutely insane. And while most of those friends were traveling, in school, or partying like crazy, I was learning all about what infertility meant and all that fun stuff. And when I quit my job to stay at home with K, a lot of people thought I was wasting my life away. Now, those same people are starting to have babies and doing the same. Funny how it's different now.....
Either way, I wouldn't change my life for anything. While it's not exactly what I use to think it would be, I'd have to say we're doing pretty good. My family is my life and I'm glad we fought hard for that.
btw, that little code thingy says pcoss. Maybe that extra s stands for sucks. haha

one-hit_wonder said...

normally i've been the overachiever and now i'm the SAHM (not to say that the 2 terms are mutually exclusive but you know what i mean). most of my friends and family were not motivated by careers and so my professional activities were not something to which they could relate, whereas my new maternal status is something that seems to make me more relate-able again to them.

Kate said...

I didn't realize you're also an engineer! I've my BSc in Eng Phys, then later on (after working overseas) got my MD. I enjoy work, and would probably go nuts at home full time, but so admire people who can hack being a SAHM. It's one tough job!

Sophie said...

I feel similar, except I only have a dinky BA in English, which isn't too exciting :P. But I agree, after being diagnosed with PCOS in high school, I too only cared about whether or not I could have a kiddo or two...and I still want a family more than anything. After all, when I'm old and gray, I'll feel fulfilled just sitting around the table with my kids and grandkids :).

Kate said...

I've never related to a post more. Our journeys are surprisingly similar. I've done college and MA, but all the time my biggest concern was that I'd never be able to have a family.

~Jess said...

Yea I've felt the same way. I'm sure some of my friends think the same thing of me, but I'm happy :-)