Tuesday, October 5, 2010


I'm really, really busy lately. No time for much. But here is a story from the weekend.

FIL and MIL visited this weekend to see Michael and go to our church's Fall Festival. They were planning on visiting for Sat and Sun and then stopping by BIL and SIL's house on the way home.

Let me explain how crazy I am. I get annoyed by having visitors. I don't like to clean the house for them, I don't like planning the meals, I don't like trying to figure out how Michael's schedule will be affected by them. I like visitors, I'm just annoyed by them. I try not to let it show, but there are grumbles behind the scene. And now here's the crazy, I get jealous that the IL's spend so much time with BIL and SIL and their kid. I know, I find visitors inconvenient, but then I get jealous when I don't have them. I'm not claiming to make sense here.

Anyhow, so FIL and MIL actually get to see their other grandson quite a bit. BIL and SIL live several hours closer. MIL babysat nephew quite a bit after SIL's mom passed away. They got to watch him for a whole week when BIL and SIL went to a conference. Nephew is a good traveler and since they live closer they have gone down to visit a couple of times.

MIL and FIL have seen Michael once a month on average since he was born. Although most of those visits have only been for a few hours each.

Sunday morning they called BIL to check in about dropping by on their way home. BIL let them know if they left after lunch they would show up during nephew's nap time and miss seeing him so they had better go ahead and leave now. MIL got off the phone and announced that they were going to go ahead and leave.

My heart broke for Michael. I know that I get annoyed, but I do want him to have a relationship with his grandparents. And now they were ditching him for the other kid less than 24 hours after arriving. And we probably won't see them again until Christmas (BIL and SIL will probably see them several times between now and Christmas).

A couple of minutes later as MIL was putting on her shoes and her cell phone rings. It's BIL again. I think SIL must have smacked him up-side the head. He told MIL that they didn't have to leave right then and they could stay longer since they don't get to see Michael very much. I was glad that they called back, but I already felt slighted by the situation.

They ended up leaving less than an hour later because it was time for Michael to take a nap anyhow. I would have liked for them to stay around and go to the Festival with us, but I was ok with them leaving during his nap. But I'm still hurt that they would get up and just leave with a happy morning baby right there smiling at them.

I'd like to say, "Oh well, their loss," but it's Michael's loss too and that makes it not ok. Why would you want to leave this?


Celia said...

Ugh. I hate cleaning for company too. Especially because the house can go from super nice to awful really quickly. I love our cats but they are a LOT of work.

Maybe your inlaws are just trying to please everyone and instead pleasing no one? I can't even get my inlaws to come here. Peter has not seen them since Father's Day and they only live an hour away.

Anonymous said...

...I really do understand, but have you considered packing up the car and going to visit them so that you can see them twice a month?

Amanda said...

No, that would be punishment with a 5 hour drive both ways and a baby that does not like to travel. I'd just didn't like that they would so quickly leave the grandchild that they see the least.

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Michelle said...

I know the feeling. My inlaws have always acted this way with K. So now when they do visit and try to interact with him more, he would rather do other things. Especially at his b-day parties when my family is around. He doesn't even ask about them when they are not in touch for a while. I think it's sad but I've gotten use to it. It's their loss. Now they act like we created a spoiled brat because he doesn't get super excited like the other grandkids do just with them walking in the door....

Anonymous said...

Yeah that is pretty messed up of them to leave so quickly. I hate having people at our house too. If MIL is going to come by to "help", I feel like I have to run around and vacuum and clean before she gets here, and it is more work for me.

The thing that bugs me a lot lately is that S's parents get really annoyed if we won't commit to doing something at a particular time. They have totally forgotten what it is like to plan things around a baby's nap and feeding schedule. They expect us to always go to their house to visit, which means packing up all her crap and going to their completely not babyproofed house with no place for her to play.

He looks so happy in his jumperoo!

Chelle said...

Aaah. How could you leave that face??! I couldn't. It was nice of BIL to come to his senses, but still.

LOL at the "boobish" in the previous post! :)