Sunday, November 7, 2010

It's just wrong

We went to Saturday night mass like normal this week. We didn't realize that it was the end of their big prolife campaign and they had a big finale dinner and such planned. So church was packed with a lot of visitors and there were a bunch of booths and vendors setup in the gathering area. Not my thing, but whatever.

And Michael is a little ham. He loves going to church because everyone smiles and laughs at him and now he starts "talking" very loudly as soon as we get in the sanctuary and it's getting very difficult to sit through a mass with him. He thinks it's the Michael Show and everyone is there to see him.

It got bad the other night. I stood him in the empty pew in front of us where he showed off for everyone and then puked! Yes, in front of everyone, puked on the pew and floor. Awesome. How embarrassing. We cleaned it up with wipes quickly and he was getting evermore difficult to handle so I took him out.

So we were out in the gathering area with all the booths and walked around and looked at things for awhile. We sat down and I tried to wrangle him during most of the rest of the mass. Another "vendor" came in during mass and set up on the table that we were next to. I wasn't paying attention until some guy started talking to him and I turned around and saw what he'd put on display. Sculptures of fetuses at varying stages of gestation.

This is not a post about abortion. If you want to read one of those, please read this. I'm not going to debate pro-life vs pro-choice or abortion or anything thing of that manner here and I don't want to see any comments debating it either. But, I absolutely draw the line when people get "graphic" about abortion. Sometimes I think the graphic becomes obscene and I can't stand that. You're entitled to your own opinion, but graphic obscenity is not ok. (And if someone leaves a comment about abortion itself being obscene, it's getting deleted, again, this is not the place for that stuff, do that on your own blog).

This type of thing really rubs me the wrong way. One day we walked into church and they were handing our plastic fetus stress balls. Since then I have absolutely stopped taking anything that the pro-life committee hands out. Why on earth would they think it was ok to hand out that type of thing?

So the fetus guy has his many fetuses on display (and for the record, they aren't very accurate representations of what the fetuses actually look like at that age) and I'm 3 feet from him trying to corral Michael with pro-life advocates everywhere. But I turned around and gave that guy a piece of my mind.

Women loose babies all the time. Most abortions are "spontaneous", i.e. miscarriages, or later on still births. They don't choose to have their babies die. Many of them have seen the remains of the child that they very much desired. And there are a lot of these women. Miscarriage and loss are WAY TOO common. I thank God that I have not lost a child and I feel greatly for the women that have. And no women should be bombarded with fetuses while simply coming to worship. Just because some women choose to end their child's life doesn't mean a women that didn't should have to be reminded in such a graphic way of the child that was taken from her. It's just wrong.

Again, I've never lost a baby, but I honestly think parenthood has increased my empathy for infertility and especially loss. With every thing my child does that brings joy to my heart I know that there is someone out there that will never know it and that makes me very sad. Seeing those dolls hurts my heart because I imagine a tiny dead Michael instead of the wiggle-worm that I have and I don't like thinking that. So I hope that I wasn't out of line telling that guy that his display is rude and unkind to parents that have lost their babies. I just don't think that kind of thing is right. You can make your point without using shock tactics.

*comment moderation is temporarily turned on*


Kate said...

Good for you - you were so right!

Sophie said...

I completely agree. At my university they had graphic images of aborted ones, that REALLY made me mad. I feel the same way you do about why they shouldn't display images like that. I also think people should not scare others into choosing a certain stance on an issue, especially if they've already gone through something difficult themselves. There is a better way.

Celia said...

That is an excellent point.
It made a terrible thing worse when the doctor called my m/c an abortion. I would freak if the place I turned for comfort did that.

Anonymous said...

Ya, that would be a little blatant for me too. A church is a house of God where all people should be welcome and FEEL WELCOMED no matter their history. After all the point of going to church is to repent isn't it. It sounds like what they were doing is much more political than having to do with anything religiious and there is plenty of time for political statements outside of the church.

venter said...

Good for you!!! And I completely agree. No matter if you are pro-life or pro-choice it is NOT OK to show graphic images. And thank you for posting this, because even though you haven't been through it, you understand.

Good Egg Hatched said...

Couldn't agree more. As you said, this is a separate issue from the merits of the debate itself. It's a reflection of the ugly tone of the conversation and it IS just wrong. No one should have to look at that stuff. Particularly, as you said, people who have lost babies...and children themselves (whose parents are probably going to great lengths to spare them from graphic images on TV, etc.). I work hard to think about my miscarriage in abstract terms...since I lost my embryo at six weeks due to a chromosomal issue I know it was never really going to be a fully formed helps me to think about it this way, but then I see something like this and it shakes me up again. Thanks for blogging on this. You've inspired me to maybe talk about a similar issue on mine...I'll be curious to see your thoughts on it.

Jessica White said... I could understand if it was specifically at a pro-life rally or something along those lines, but in not appropriate.