Have you ever been asked who your hero is? Probably as a kid you wrote an essay or something. I know that I had that assignment several times and I honestly never could think of a good answer.
I can think of a lot of good people. A lot of excellent role models. And there are plenty of undeniable heroes out there-people that have saved lives, soldiers serving to protect our freedoms, historical figures that did something great.
Despite a vast pool of acceptable candidates, I really have never had a personal hero.
The last year has been a lot for me. More than I ever thought it would. I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. I love being a mother. I get incredible happiness from taking care of my baby. And I thought my world was complete and I could be happy forever now that I had my long awaited baby. But that's not what happened.
Life got harder. I knew it would, I expected it to. But then it got even harder, and yet harder. This year has surely been the most challenging year of my life. Taking care of Michael was an endurance test for the first 6 months. Day care, 'nuff said. Work is crap right now and a daily task that I do not look forward to or enjoy. It's a paycheck. A paycheck that we kinda need. My parents and family are crazy, but that's not new.
And through all of this, my husband has done a better job supporting me than he ever has in our marriage. I felt he's fallen short at times throughout our marriage, he hasn't always been the rock. I wondered what would happen with a baby in tow, but he has risen to the occasion. I knew he would be a good father, but he's been a better husband this year than I anticipated.
He cooks dinner most nights. Not usually anything fancy but we've eaten homemade meals most nights because he cooked them.
He does the dishes too. Yes he cooks AND does the dishes. AND, he cleans my pumping supplies every night.
He makes the bed in the morning. I'm not a bed maker and don't care, but it is nice to have a bed made up to get into in the evenings.
He cleans the cat mess and takes out the trash. And he's such a good cat dad too.
He folds and stuffs the diapers. Yes, the secret to my cloth diapering success is that DH does most of it. He stuffs the diapers at night. He makes the wipes every day.
He does the grocery shopping. Every weekend he goes and fights the Wal-Mart crowd so that we have food. I remember before we had a baby and how we went shopping together every weekend. I always really enjoyed having a partner to help me in that task and now he does it alone without complaint.
It probably sounds like I don't do anything around the house and, honestly, a lot of days I feel like that. Really, I'm feeding Michael and taking care of him, to give a little credit to myself, that's no small task. I was also the only one getting up at night to take care of him until very recently, so it's not that I'm just being lazy, but I think taking care of Michael is probably a more enjoyable task than grocery shopping most of the time.
But the most important thing that he does, other than being a good dad, is saving me from myself. I have been at the verge of just totally loosing it and breaking down several times this year and I know that I haven't because of him. Even when I'm just upset and having trouble dealing with things at the moment he can usually step in and make me feel better just by listening to me. He'll even let me throw a tantrum at him and not get upset with me. He's taken the challenges of this year in stride. And he's done it selflessly.
And because of that, I finally know who my hero is.
Happy Anniversary to my hero. I love you.