Friday, January 14, 2011

SAHM

Well folks, it finally happened, just like I thought it would.

I feel a mix of emotions right now. I certainly do not miss my job, but I will miss the money. We'll be ok, but things are going to be tight, very tight.

The only thing that really makes me sad about leaving is that Michael enjoyed daycare. Sure, some teachers there were not so great and he had a really hard time adjusting, but otherwise, these days, he was really loving it. I could go and put him down on the floor and he would immediately crawl to his favorite teacher and she would scoop him up. He loved the toys and had little friends, and in that way I feel like I'm taking something from him. Of course, on the flip side, he gets to spend more time with Mommy, and that's definitely a good thing.

I have fantasized for a long time as to what being a SAHM would be like. I had visions of play dates and going to the library and meeting Daddy for lunch, and walks and trips to the park. All those things will happen and are very good things.

But, I'm a little afraid that I might go nuts. I've long thought if I ended up here we need to get organized about this and come up with lesson plans and a good schedule to keep both of us occupied. I'm not sure where to start, but it won't be today because today I just need sometime to cuddle and enjoy my baby and kitties.

So, if the SAHMs could, what advice do you have keeping busy and staying away from boredom?

13 comments:

Celia said...

I have yet to figure that out, but I try and spread our errands during the week. So, Monday the grocery store and Tuesday the library and when the weather is nice we go to Grandmas. Of course the weather has been crap lately. I am sorry you got laid off boo. Sometimes I do get a bit crazed- like today NO NAP.He is peering at me over the pack and play. But, one thing that is helpful to me is that my husband says my job is Peter and not the house.

Celia said...

I always feel better when I wear real clothes and makeup, but I don't always have time for that. Later after Peter is in bed, I will give you some better answers.

birdsandsquirrels said...

Oh no! I'm sorry to hear about your job. But, getting to spend more time with Michael will be awesome.

I had visions of doing all kinds of cool things with Birdie every day, but the reality for us is that some days, we don't do a whole lot, especially with the crappy snowy cold stormy weather we have been having. It has been a rough winter. I think I'm also quite lazy though.

We do try to go out and do something every day because Birdie really likes smiling at people and going places. The library story time is something I keep meaning to do, but it's right during her nap time, and it's not very close. We do go to check out books though. Walks and trips to the park, yes, but not in months since it's so f-ing cold and icy everywhere. We meet daddy for lunch probably once a week. We end up going shopping a lot, just walking around. In the fall I took her for baby swimming lessons once a week for several months. Playdates - not yet. We don't know any babies close to her age. There are tons of kids in the neighborhood where we are moving, and several months ago we heard there were at least 4 women pregnant (my worst nightmare when dealing with IF, now I'm excited that Birdie might get some close neighbor friends out of it).

You are so organized, and having been working full time and sticking to a schedule for that, I am sure you will continue to be organized.

Things I would change if I could - I would try to make more me time away from Birdie. I need to get out more, go to the gym, maybe volunteer somewhere. I think Birdie needs to be around other kids, and I can't seem to find any mom groups, so maybe I should look into a half day toddler program twice a week.

At the same time, it has been nice not having to be anywhere at any particular time. And on bad days, I'm lucky if I get to take a shower.

So, yeah, snuggle with your kitties and your baby, and enjoy them!

birdsandsquirrels said...

Oh, and I forgot to say that I spend a ridiculous amount of time taking pictures of Birdie and documenting her babyhood. Mostly it's for my family, who live so far away, but it is also for me, to capture every little moment. It feels like a part time job almost. Every week I take probably 200 pictures, sort through them and post about 30 or 40 online for my family with captions and stories. If I don't post them by Friday afternoon I start getting emails from my mom and aunt, "where are this week's pictures?!"

Sophie said...

I don't know if I count too much, since I'm a part-time wahm, but it's a lot of fun! The work is never done, really :). We've got a ton of snow right now, which makes it a little harder, but definitely see if you can get out with other moms. Sometimes it's tough finding a niche, but you can check out meetup.com or even see if there are yahoo groups. The library is also a good place, like you mentioned. Hey, you can always take up scrapbooking (I see someone mentioned that already :). I like doing it digitally because there is a lot less of a mess, and nothing that Mirabel can get into and eat :D. We also do walks when the weather is nice. Get a pass to a museum if there is one near by, that way if you want to get out on a bad weather day, you have somewhere to go! Also, cooking is fun! It's a hobby that I actually like because it allows me to be creative and productive. You'll see, it really isn't boring at all! :)

Michelle said...

Sorry about the job...
I'll admit that the first year was very hard. K was probably around Michael's age when I started to get over it, and really enjoy being home.
My advice is definitely find a way to get out a few times a week. Library for story time, find a play group, go for walks, anything just to get both of you out of the house. It will be very good.
For me, winters are hard still. It's so cold and nasty out, and it makes me feel lazy. My husband still tells me that I'm doing a huge part by still being home, but it's hard to remember that.
I hope things go well and you are less stressed. It sounds like the past few months have been very stressful with work and daycare.
Oh and boredom issues. I've discovered my love of photography. And my obsession with my orchids. I keep up with the news and the world online usually. And I try for once a week to go out alone after my husband is home and do some errands or just browse target. Some quiet me time.

Debbie said...

Delurking. I have been a SAHM for about a year and a half. I too had illusions of a clean house, sparkling toilets, etc. It doesn't happen. We do story time at the library once a week. I recently joined a local community center where I can exercise, and my son can go to the daycare. It is good for us to have an hour or so of separation a day. I try to meet up with friends, or go to the mall's play area in the winter. It did take me a good year to get into a routine and to feel productive. It is a WAY harder to stay home than to go to a job!

Michelle said...

Sorry about your job. But I'm glad to hear you will be able to be home with Michael. *hugs*

Rachel said...

I am sorry about your job. I haven't really done the SAHM thing, but I have done the living-alone-with-baby for almost a year situation, and I strongly suggest seeking out other SAHMs for days that you just need a short break. Alternatively, start a list of babysitters who might be available midday for an hour or two. I'm sure that you will find plenty of activities, but one of the hardest things about being without daycare is having to care for your son even if you're sick/stressed/distracted/have a doctor's appointment and having a friend you can swap with or even a list of possible babysitters (I know money will be short) should help.

Celia said...

That is very true, there is no one to watch Peter when I have a dentist/gyno/optomitrist appt. I have NO IDEA how we are gonna handle the multiple trips to the RE. Probably...poorly and with stress.

Staying on a schedule( at least kinda) is still important because it gives structure to your day. The bitter cold has been very hard for us because Peter loves it outside, and it is too awful to take a walk.

The Wife said...

Sorry about the job. Ask the daycare what Michael's schedule is like and try to stick to it in the beginning. Once you know what his schedule's like then you can start adjusting it to your own. We are part of a MOMS club: http://www.momsclub.org/. But in VA I found one through Meetup (I actually found it through my bunco group on meetup but it was on meetup as well). Getting out once a day is vital for me and I'm usually a homebody. Also figure out at the end of the day what you want hubby to do. DH knows to take over holding GV when he gets home even if it's only for 15 minutes. I also became a Thirty-One consultant so that I had something social/work-ish (non-mom related) to look forward to 2-3 times a month. Also check parks and rec and libraries for free activities (usually) and then places that do music, songs, spanish lessons (or another language), or exercise for babies & moms.

Hope this helps! Good luck!

~Jess said...

I'm a homebody...so my answers probably won't help. We just take each day as it comes...if we don't get out of our PJs until late morning...so be it (I'm usually always dressed before 10 - I'm not a hair and makeup kinda girl anyways).

We do usually get out of the house once a day, whether it's to go to our store for a bit or the library. But I really enjoy just staying home with A. I love watching her....of course between her and the chores around the house I don't usually find too much time to be bored.

Celia said...

Dude, I am thinking of you. I hope you and Michael are having a fine time and you are enjoying good cuddles.