Monday, February 27, 2012

On my shoulders

I've been really busy lately and not been good about blogging or commenting or returning email. Sorry. Everything has been going really well over here lately. I don't normally set new year's resolutions, but this year I did have a goal to try to be healthier. Exercise more. Loose weight. Eat better.

Part of my goal was just to hopefully get me to shed some pounds because I do not want to weigh this much if I get pregnant again. But also, I have realized that the health of my family is pretty much entirely on my shoulders and so it's really up to me to make the right choices if I want my family to be healthy.

I kinda realized this when Michael turned a year old. Michael was always a very big baby but he was breastfed and I really felt that he could decide how much he needed. But after he was a year and primarily on solids I realized that it was now our responsibility to make good choices about what we put on his plate (he still decides how much to eat).

These days I get so disheartened by all the fat kids that I see. That may sound harsh, but really, have you looked at kids lately... they're all fat. Ok, not all of them, but when I was a kid, I was the fat kid. Now days I think I'd be about average. And of course we can blame it on all kinds of things, but that doesn't really help. When it comes down to it, raising healthy kids is a greater challenge today and not something that can be neglected. I'm really adamant that this is a priority for my family from this early stage because I know how hard it is to reverse the process.

So this has been on my mind a lot lately. It's hard setting a healthy example sometimes. I have a toddler that has discovered junk food. I'm trying to break my husband's habit of coming home and shoving a dozen saltines in his mouth because as soon as Michael see DH in the evenings he demands crackers now too. But I am so lucky to be at home. I take Michael to the Y several times a week. I have time to shop for healthier ingredients and produce. I cook almost every meal from scratch. It may be mostly on my shoulders, but thankfully, it's a weight that I can bear, but it's also such a big responsibility and I still worry. Rightfully so, it's a very important load.

And although I haven't lost much weight yet, I've putting in the time and feeling better for it. I think the exercise schedule has helped my mood and getting some time away from Michael for myself has helped too. This is definitely one of those things where I can help my family most by helping myself. And I'm worth it.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Some things of note lately

A bunch of stuff that isn't worthy of it's own post but worth mentioning.

- I screwed up my knee pretty badly the other week. I tried to keep up an exercise routine by walking. As I gritted my teeth and pushed myself (just a little) I felt a new appreciation for the elderly. My knee is mostly better now, but it sure would be awful to have that kind of pain and know it's not going to get better. I think my knee was revenge from being impatient to get around an old lady pushing a walker the week before.

- I think I hurt my knee sanding this lovely shelf that DH's aunt and uncle made for us. It's made to perfectly fit under the window in our from room. I've been wanting something there forever, so I'm thrilled to have it! I did the finishing on it. I experimented with Wipe-On Poly (Minwax) and I love it. It goes on quick and looks great. Ambrosia slid right off the top the first time she jumped on it.

- Bliss and Ambrosia went for their annual vet visit several weeks ago. Then last week I found a big lump on Bliss' shoulder where she got her injections. I was just sick with worry because some of those vaccinations can cause cancer at the injection site. I took her back in and the vet thought it was just a granuloma and gave her a steroid shot to help. That shot perked her right up and the lump shrank pretty quickly. Everything would be great but I think she picked up a cold at the vet's and she all sniffly now. Poor kitty, can't get a break. I've been spoiling her all week.

- Michael went with me to take Bliss to the vet's when she got her lump looked at. They had to take her temperature. The poor thing hated it (of course) but Michael was so sweet and reached up and petted her head while she was 'crying' and we (me, the tech, and the vet) held her down. It was so sweet. I think this might be the first real sign of empathy I've seen out of that child. (He's normally not nearly so sweet to Blissy).

- Michael is constantly surprising lately. We were at the in-laws over the weekend and he declared, "I like this house." Then after being home again for about a day he again declared that he liked this (our) house and then called it a "Brand-new house" (our house is brand-new compared to the ILs). I don't really have a clue where any of that came from. He's been picking up stuff from everywhere lately.

- We were at the at the ILs for a double baptism of my niece and husband cousin's kid. The father was God-parent kid and the Mother of the the other was the God-mother of the first kid (basically reciprocal God-parents). The way it worked out, it was kinda cute looking... almost like a double, gay wedding in a Catholic church :)

- I ran interference for my husband's cousin while she nursed her newborn. Everyone was over in the chapel waiting for her to show up and they kept sending people back to look for her. So I just kept barking at them that she'd be there when she was done. I never blogged about it, but Michael's baptism was an awful mess. He screamed the whole time because I didn't get the time to change him and feed him. I hate that I have regrets about that day and I couldn't see someone else have to have the same experience when it could be avoided.

- After the baptism service another one of DH's cousin's asked us if Michael could be a ring-bearer at her wedding this summer. We told her we didn't think he'd do it, but if that's what she wanted we could try. He's going to share the responsibility with his cousin. The boys are adorable together and it will at least be cute. DH and His brother (the cousin's dad) were about the same age when they were ring bearer's at her mother's wedding almost 30 years ago.

- And it looks like I get to make the ring-bearer outfits. I'm not sure how that will go, but I'm kinda looking forward to it. I doubt I will be so enthusiastic once I start.

Sorry that was so long. Trust me, I edited it down.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Alright, alright... I've been tagged

The lovely Jess has tagged me and I don't think this is the first time, so I should probably join in.

I'm supposed to share 11 random facts about myself.
  1. I have a tattoo of a shamrock on my hip. Make of that what you will. 
  2. I'm left handed, but my right hand is my dominate hand. I also automatically switch to my right hand when I write on chalk boards which confuses me and then sometimes I write backwards. 
  3. Conan O'Brien was my first crush. I worshiped that man in middle school and high school. Then Andy left the show and it was never the same. 
  4. My mom got a book from the library to explain how babies were made to my brother and I when I was (very) little. The book, although age appropriate, did not explain things very well and after that I thought simply sleeping in a bed with a boy would get you pregnant. After that I refused to sleep in the same bed as my brother on family trips. I'm also still not sure how chickens reproduce thanks to that book. 
  5. I have been told by non-native English speakers that they 'like my voice'. I don't know what exactly the draw is, but I've gotten this compliment several times. I personally think I sound like a 'gay man' (take that how you will). 
  6. I'm obsessed with removing the split ends from my hair. I will sit and search them out for hours and nip them off with my teeth if I don't have scissors (and I'm good at it). My hair splits a lot, I always have plenty to search for. 
  7. I'm the messy one in my marriage. (But I'm way better at cleaning.)
  8. I've always wanted to run away. 
  9. It really makes me angry that others have the power to make me feel so bad about myself. 
  10. I'm pretty sure that I'd be happy as a "crazy cat lady".
  11. When I was little I used to daydream about being teenage professional mercenary. I was also Latina in these dreams. 

And here are Jess' questions for me. 
  1. What life event has had the most impact on you? and Why? This has got to be the birth of my son. Yes, a baby changes everything, but you never know how much until you have one. In the beginning I lost all of myself to taking care of Michael and that was very hard... to not even have the time or energy to think about something you want to think about. Slowly I have been reclaiming myself but with every bit of myself I take back I feel like I'm taking away from Michael. Sometimes I feel guilty about this and sometimes I don't. Then I feel guilty for not feeling guilty. 
  2. What is one character flaw of your own that drives you nuts? I'm definitely a little self-absorbed. I forget to reciprocate with questions for the person that I'm talking to when they ask me about myself. I have to remind myself to ask questions back. 
  3. Where and what would be your dream home? I spend a lot of time in my head these days planning my dream home on our land. I really enjoy fantasizing about it because it can still be anything at this time. 
  4. Who is your "celebrity" crush? (it can be anyone, in any time period or profession) Hmmm.... well it was Conan O'Brien. I also have a thing for David Bowie (Watched Labyrinth lately? You should.) But lately, idunno... Jude Law? Brad Pitt? I feel like I'm forgetting someone. 
  5. Where is your favorite city? That's a tough one. I'm not much of a city girl. I'll take country over city any day. How about Girona, Spain. It's beautiful and so is the countryside around it. 
  6. What is a guilty pleasure of your's? (can be food, books, movies, whatever) Food, in shameful amounts. Usually chocolate or something made with cheese, or both, like these chocolate goat cheese truffles (although I have trouble making the balls, so I just make in a dish so that it looks like fudge). 
  7. When do you go to bed? get up? I go to bed around 10:30 and get up when Michael does... which used to be 6 but is more like 6:45 now. Not bad. 
  8. How many times a day do you check your email/reader/FB etc? I'm usually only a few feet from the computer most of the day, so I check my email every hour or more. Reader gets checked a couple times a day. I hate facebook and try not to get on there unless it emails me. 
  9. Do you run hot or cold (temperature wise)? Since having Michael, I'm freezing or baking if the temperature is off by more than a degree.
  10. What is one thing you wish people knew about you? I like sharing and making new friends, but please excuse me if I'm kinda awkward at it. 
  11. What is one thing you aspire to better in yourself? I want to let go of bad memories and grudges easier. I hate that my hate for others lies so close to the surface when the truth is that I shouldn't even let them get to me that badly. 
So I'm going to tag:
  1. What makes you happy?
  2. What can you never get enough of?
  3. What's your favorite time of the day?
  4. What's your favorite time of the year?
  5. Is there a time in your life you wish you could live over?
  6. Something you have seen in the last 24 hours that is beautiful. 
  7. Something you wish you did more of.
  8. Something that you do really well.
  9. Something you've made that you are proud of. 
  10. You just won a free trip to anywhere in the world. Where do you go?
  11. What celebrity do you think you could be good friends with given the chance?
I hope everyone participates, but if you can't, maybe at least leave some random facts about yourself in the comments.