Sunday, July 22, 2012

Healing

Life since I broke my wrist has gone from sucking hard to almost normal very quickly, and for that I am grateful.

So for those of you wanting to know what I did... I fell off my step at step-aerobics. I'd missed the last couple classes because our schedule has been all messed up lately and I felt it was really important that I go that night. I wanted to turn and run the other way when I came in that night and saw it was the Wednesday night instructor and not the Tuesday night instructor. I really, really don't like the Wednesday night instructor's style and honestly would not have stayed if I hadn't have missed the last couple of classes. I won't go into the particulars of exactly how/why I fell off (you'd have to be a step junkie to follow) but basically something twisted in my left foot during a move causing me to fall and I tried to break my fall with my right hand. I felt something *snap* and then looked at my arm and immediately knew that I had messed things up big time.

But beyond the initial awfulness of a very broken wrist, things went well. Michael was up in the nursery and the teachers there said they would watch him while I went to the ER. And Michael is very comfortable with those teachers, so I felt really comfortable leaving him there. The aerobics instructor took me to the ER (which is, handily, pretty much across the street). And the golden rule of the ER is (generally) "Whoever looks the worst, gets to go back the fastest." So they quickly brought me a wheel chair (which was great because my foot was hurting a ton too). I got and x-ray and a bed. And my husband arrived shortly after that.

A girl that works out at the Y and recognized me started my IV. I got some pain meds. And I hadn't been crying or really upset this whole time, but once I got the pain meds I started crying. Since I didn't have to focus on getting through the pain, my mind went to all the things that this broken wrist was going to screw up... playing with Michael, the two remaining swim lessons that we had to go to that week, working out, sewing projects, trips I had planned in the near future, but most of all, nursing.

Michael still nursed before nap and bedtime and we were getting very close to that ending. So close that I had actually been calling photographers just the day before to have a nursing session photographed. I just wanted the photos for myself to remember the sweetness of that time. Cuddling, him falling off to sleep, the beautiful innocence of my baby before he grows up anymore. Photos to have in case I never have another baby to nurse. Nevermind.

After awhile the orthopedist came in. He was going to have me sedated and set 'reduce' my wrist in the OR but a ruptured intestine jumped me inline. He assured me that he could numb me really well and reduce it with me awake, or I could wait until about 10pm for the OR. I fell about 5:45pm, so this was a while to wait, but my wrist was REALLY messed up and my whole arm hurt a lot, so I didn't think I would handle the trauma of being awake to have it reduced very well and opted to wait. My orthopedist assured me I could have all the pain meds I wanted while I waited and then left.

DH had left by this time to take Michael home and put him to bed. I was all alone for quite awhile, but that was fine because I was nodding off. But about 9pm my endorphins had worn off as well as my pain meds and I was hurting. I was all alone and pressed my call button for the first time. Finally someone came on over the intercom and asked me what I needed. Crying from the pain for the first time, I said I hurt and needed help. No one came.

So I pushed the button again, and cried for help again. Finally some girls came to move me to a closer room (I had been in the back all alone and they were basically forgetting about me back there). When I got there a male nurse came in and told me that I 'can't have pain meds every 5 mins' and I laid into him. It had been AT LEAST 1 hour since I'd had anything, probably 1.5hrs and I accused him of not having looked at my chart, then I removed the little towel I had covering the HORROR that was my wrist and told him not to accuse me of being some drug-seeking pansy. I was so proud of myself for giving it to someone that deserved it. I reported him later. No nurse should chastise a patient in pain asking for meds like that.

The unfortunate thing was that pain meds weren't working for more than a couple of minutes and I was rightback in pain again. But now because of asshole-nurse, I was afraid to ask for pain meds. I breathed deep and tried to manage the pain. Finally, at a little after 10pm the took me up for my reduction. I've never looked forward to anesthesia so much in my life.

It took almost 2.5 hours to reduce and cast my arm. I think I'm really glad that I waited for the OR. After I woke up my orthopedist said to me that I wasn't the worst wrist he had ever seen, but there aren't a whole lot of wrist he would have stayed up to midnight for, if that gives you an idea of what I was dealing with. I had a full 90-degree cast hung up to help support it. Although I was all strung up, I was still fine to get up and go to the bathroom, so at least I was left with some dignity.

Would it have killed someone to clean the plaster off my fingers?

They let me eat breakfast then took me NPO (no food/drink) so I assumed that I was having surgery later in the day but the orthopedist had told DH different after the reduction. So figured that I would just have to wait and see.

My parents came up to watch Michael, but the hospital room totally freaked him out so that was disappointing.

My ortho came in later in the afternoon and gave me a couple of options. Immediate surgery to stabilize my wrist was the only acceptable option, IMO. So he got me a CT scan and an OR spot. The surgery for the plate took quite a bit longer... maybe 4hrs, but I can't completely remember. They gave me a much smaller, more manageable cast this time. It took me awhile to realize the brown spots on it were blood seeping through the cast :)

World's ugliest cast.

So I spent another night in the hospital, but I got discharged at a decent time the next day. My mom came with Michael and took me home. It was then that I found out that my mom didn't know how to strap Michael in properly and had been driving around with his straps COMPLETELY LOOSE. I laid into her over that... anyone with common sense should know better. And my husband got it too for not showing her how to use it.

Things improved pretty rapidly after that. My swelling went down pretty quickly. I broke my right wrist, but I'm left handed, although right hand dominant (if that makes any sense)... so I'm a bit put out to have my right wrist broken, but I have been able to manage extremely well.

Michael decorated my cast for me.

I began to loathe my cast and decided all would be right in the world if I could just get a new one that fit better (since the swelling had gone down). Luckily I did get a new one early in the week when they checked the incision. I've decided this cast is much more stylish than the old one and doesn't make my arm look so fat/broken.

Finally, a respectable cast.

I did the happy dance when my mom left on Wednesday... but then my MIL showed up, without her hearing aids (grumble, grumble), half an hour later. I really just wanted to bum around the house in my underwear.

I've been very self-sufficient. About the only thing I can't do for myself is unhook my bra. I've been cooking real meals and can drive just fine. I'm looking forward to next week... no moms or helpers around. Michael and I getting back into a routine. Freedom.

I get this cast off at the end of the month and my stitches out. I don't know if I will get another cast or just a brace.

I'm sorry to have complained about things sucking so much. As you can probably tell, things have actually gone really well. As I have gone through this, I have been able to see how blessed I/we have been. So I will continue to work on healing up over here. Thank you to those who have worried about me. Again, I just feel so blessed that I have healed so well and been able to get past this so well.

At least someone likes that old cast.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Still sucking

So I broke my wrist... really badly. Like it was bent back the wrong direction. I took a pick with my cell phone, but its very disturbing and would probably make poeple ill so I will not be posting it. So a couple of trips through the OR later, things are as good as can be expected. I have a plate holding me together and a super heavy cast. Im hoping for a lighter cast next week cause keeping this thing elevated is a lot of work.

My parents did come up to help take care ok michael. My mother is slightly on my nerves, but im trying to not let her get to me too much and just be thankful for the help.

Although it does suck that my wrist is broken, I think i've really been pretty lucky. Ive done really well with the pain and got good, quick attention. Most of the hospital staff was very good. And family is available to help out with michael. So breaking my wrist wasnt too lucky, but everything else has been pretty good. this is just one of those unfortunate things that happens in life.

Im hoping that the healing goes quickly as the swelling goes down and I get a little further from the surgery.

So, theres my update. Ill be sitting on my butt so keep my entertained with some posts.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Well that sucked

Well... I'm not doing so hot right now. I broke and dislocared my wrist yesterday. Nit fun. I'll post more later, but i'm not really in the condition to type right now.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Good vibrations

My apologies to those who want to see my toddler art area post I promised. It's coming soon, but too much has been going on lately and I just haven't gotten around to it yet.

And as far as what has been going on, my husband's cousin got married over the weekend. Somehow, this took a ridiculous amount of my time. And it wasn't even my own wedding nor was I really very involved with it. Really, the amount of time I spent preparing for it makes no sense. We've also had a couple of parties to go to over the last couple of weeks. And my husband was out of town for work training for 2 weeks and my MIL visited for one of those weeks. I just get amazed at how busy my schedule seems sometimes... God forbid I ever actually get that busy, cause then I just really wouldn't know what to do.

We had quite a fun weekend out for DH's cousin's wedding. I took Michael to the zoo Thursday. It was over 100 degrees that day, which caused many people to think I was crazy to go to the zoo, but the plus side of it was that the zoo was practically empty. It was like having your own personal zoo. I've been to the zoo when it was so busy you couldn't see the animals and I hate that, so it was great getting to go at our own pace and see the animals all we wanted. 


I was way more excited to see the lion than Michael was.


Ok, I'll totally admit to being a crazy cat lady, but I had never been this close to a lion before, so it was very cool to me


Michael just wanted to climb around.


The meerkats were so excited to see us and wanted so much attention. I said something about it to a girl that was in the area and she was shocked because she said that she came every week and had never seen them get excited like that. So, yeah, I feel special. I'm a Krazy Meerkat Lady too.


Cheetah. Get a good look Michael, while you still can. 


They had a really cool elephant enclosure that was long and skinny and the elephants were really close to us. They were flinging mud around and I even got some on me. Oh, and there was no one there but us and some zookeepers the whole time. I seriously wish I lived near a zoo.  


The quintessential seal show. 

But one really nice thing about this zoo was there there were lots of things  to ride (a carousel, train, tram, boat, and 'African sky safari gondolas') and I got a ride pass and we made use of it. Which was especially nice since it was so hot. 


Michael liked the carousel a lot. He only rode it 4 times, but he would have rode it all day if I would have let him. 


He also got to have an Icee for the first time (two actually... what can I say, it was like 103, need to keep cool). 

After the zoo, Michael and I went and checked into our hotel. DH had to work, so his parent's picked him up and dropped him off after Michael had gone to bed. After Michael woke up the next morning he was sitting up in bed and pointed to the man in my bed and said, "Mommy, I don't know who that is." I laughed and told him it was Daddy. Then he was immediately excited, but it totally cracks me up that he thinks I was in bed with a random stranger.

We went to the Legoland "Discovery Center"* (ie, smaller version of Legoland) that was at the hotel. Michael loved it. He's actually not that into Legos yet, but they had a lot of fun things for his age to do. 




He got to see his first 3D "movie". DH and I cracked up watching him bat at the air when things were coming at him. 


He rode this cool little indoor ride. He was just big enough for it and I was worried that he would freakout on it, but he loved it! Seeing him do that made me really proud. 


I have an awesomely fearless kid. 

And then there was the wedding. I'm very proud to report that he and his cousin walked down the aisle! We weren't sure if they would since they are only two year olds, but they did it! I don't have any pics of them waking down the aisle since I sent them off and they closed the doors after them for the bride so I'm awaiting the photographer's pics.


Michael carried the groom's first ball glove (the wedding had a baseball theme) and his cousin carried a pennant with the couple's name on it. 


And Michael had a great time staying up late and dancing at the reception. 

So this has mostly been a long picture post about our last little trip, but other cool things have been happening too. I made myself a nice dress for the wedding that I was pleased with. I also made a big old tote bag because Michael started swimming lessons this week and I'm hoping that he will get more comfortable in the water from them. And the thing that has thrilled me the most lately is that Michael is starting to understand 1-to-1 correspondence when counting (ie, numbers are starting to have real meaning, not just words that he repeats in order to us). Somewhere in there Michael started telling me "You are the best Mommy I've ever seen," which I think he picked up from my MIL... but it doesn't matter where he picked it up, it feels nice to hear him say something like that. He's just getting to be such a good little communicator lately. He's no baby or toddler anymore, he's a little person now and I love it. 

I fell off the exercise bandwagon while my husband was out of town and I'm back on again and feeling really good about that. I've been doing some moves to strengthen my ass glutes lately and it just makes every step I take feel awesome. 

I'm just in a really good place right now and after struggling with anxiety and depression for so long, I'm really excited to be here. I'm just looking forward to doing more cool things with Michael and my husband and enjoying the days in between. I think I'm at a really healthy place when it come to family planning too. I feel like I'm past feelings of jealously towards others that are pregnant and 'baby fever' and onto doing what is right for us. That is the first time I think I've ever really felt this way, and it is great!

I'm hoping the rest of you are keeping cool and catching some good vibrations too. 


*A quick note to all the Lego affectionados out there... I wouldn't really recommend the Lego Discovery Centers if you have a chance to go to one (unless it's to take some kids). There isn't really anything for adults. You pretty much need to be between 3 and 4.5 feet tall to get much out of it, cause tickets are pretty expensive and it takes a long time to get in, even if you buy tickets online and come early. I hope the real Legoland parks are more fun.