Thursday, September 13, 2012

From the mouths of babes

Michael has reached that age where he is interested in babies and would like us to have another one. His little pleas for a baby sister (usually he asks for a sister, probably because most of the characters in his books have little sisters) aren't enough for me to want to have another baby, but they are somewhat adorable.

Last night he asked me to have a baby again and I told him that we weren't ready to have another baby again. Then he said in his sweet little voice, "I will pray to Jesus for a baby."

Ok, (1) adorable, my heart melted right out of my chest with that one and (2) who or where did he get that from or did he actually come up with it himself? I'm strongly suspecting preschool may have had an influence here. I can't help but wonder what that kid says about me when I'm not around.

But in truth, we are gearing up to try to have another baby. We'd like to start TTCing again at the end of the year or beginning of next year. I didn't want to get too far ahead of myself and mention anything before now because I was worried I might need a couple more surgeries for my wrist. (My orthopedist was talking about removing a piece of my bone!) But it seems that the only surgery that I'm facing is getting my plate removed and they won't do that until it's been in for a year. So if I don't take too long to get pregnant, we could do it after having the baby.

I started back on my intensive supplement schedule... 5,000 mcg of folic acid per day (I take six 800mcg pills and round up), baby aspirin, and prenatal in addition to my regular metformin, zoloft and misc. vitamins and supplements. I'm taking nearly 20 pills a day again. wunderbar.

But the good news is that I'm very optimistic that we will conceive without medical assistance this time. My PCOS and MTHFR are under control with the meds. My period appeared* when Michael was a year old. Since then I've had 18 cycles in a row, averaging 31 days. Don't hate me because I'm regular :)

One snag in my plans is that I don't have a OB anymore. The hospital I had Michael in closed down it's maternity ward this year and eliminated McSoothy's position. She hasn't taken another position in the area, to my knowledge and I don't know who to use as my doctor now. Thinking about the OB situation gives me a bit of a headache. It's not really important yet, but if I do get pregnant, I want to have my progesterone levels monitored again and therefore probably need to establish a relationship with someone now. I could get back in contact with my fertility clinic for it, but it would be nice to just have one local dr. for everything this time.

I'm in a really good place right now. My mental health is better than it's ever been. My desire for another child is coming out of love and not jealously/baby envy (a year ago I don't think I could honestly say that). So I'm really looking forward to getting a chance to have another baby. And I get to look forward to TTCing with optimism this time instead of fear and doubt. I hope my experience lives up to my expectation this time.

*I would say my period reappeared, but that implies that I had one before getting pregnant, and I don't feel that's really accurate.