Tuesday, January 1, 2013

This is 30

I turned 30 the other day. Birthdays aren't a big deal to me, and this one was no exception, but to the rest of the world it seems that turning over a decade is usually considered a bigger deal.

I had a conversation with my therapist the other week on turning 30. I told her that I was looking forward to it because I find my 20 year old self annoying and I'm hoping that I won't bother myself so much when I'm 30. I was recounting this conversation with my husband last night and he asked me what I did in my 20's that was so cringe worthy. The biggest, quickest to point to example I can think of was our wedding. Oh, what a freakin nightmare. The guest-list, the registry, showers, bridesmaids. I recently told one of DH's cousins that she should be glad that she wasn't engaged yet, because she'll make much better decisions about her wedding if she knows herself better (I was slightly drunk during this conversation :) So many parts of my wedding were because I was worried about what other people would think... something about getting older makes you care less about what other people think.

But there are plenty of other things about 20 that I don't mind leaving in the past. Infertility and TTC #1. Done. Good riddance. My acne. Somehow it's finally come under control in the last year or so. It would have been nice if that had happened a decade earlier, but I'll take anything I can get in that department. My hair is a hell of a lot better looking these days too. I have naturally curly hair and I've finally accepted it. I despise all the straight hair girls that say they wish they had curly hair... it took me 29 years to figure out how to make this look good (thank you Curly Girl Handbook). I'm still a work in progress, but I was able to look in the mirror on my birthday and I was happier with the woman looking back at me than I have been in years.

I'm busy trying to take better care of the rest of myself too. My mental health is doing pretty good. I finally got a new doctor (since McSoothy is no longer available) and got my pap done and some blood work (all good!). I've got a dermatologist appointment for later this week to do a mole check, which I have put off longer than I should have considering that skin cancer killed my grandfather and I'm super fair-skinned. I really need to go to the dentist (that's about 3 years over due) and get an eye exam (I think I was about 10 last time I got one of those) and 2013 is the year to get caught up on those.

I am sad that we are going to delay our plans to start TTCing again, but it's because I want more time to get fit and check off some of those overdue doctors appointments before we start that business up again. My original life plans included being done having children by the time I was 30, but that's ok. I'm not going to fret over that the way I would have a few years ago.

So this is 30 and it seems pretty good.


Kate said...

Happy 30th! You're so much younger than my 38. Lots of great years left to go. Hope 30 will treat you well and you'll finish it in an even happier place than you are currently.

Michelle said...

I feel like we are alike on a lot of things. I was the only one out of my friends turning 30 this year that was not freaking out. I'm so glad to see the 20's gone, and 30 gave me a lot of hope to better years.
I also had the plan of no more babies after 30, but funny how that's changed now. I feel like I've learned a lot since K, and there's a lot I want to get a do-over on. I no longer have a cut off date for all that stuff.
Here's to hoping this year will be better! Happy Birthday again, and Happy New Year! :)

Jess @ LifeintheWhiteHouse.com said...

Happy 30th! I didn't think turning 30 was too big a deal either.

Trisha said...

Great post. Happy Birthday! I turned 30 last summer and I had driven myself crazy with my own internal pressure "to be pregnant by 30." Well, what do you know, sometimes life's a bit&* and you just can't have it on your timeline. We have been TTC for 17 months and FINALLY on Tuesday, I was diagnosed with PCOS after going to a new RE. We had a failed IVF cycle in November and we were disheartened and heartbroken- especially not having any answers and our RE wanting to "do exactly the same thing" the second time around. No thank you.
2013 is a fresh start. I agree with you- it's time to put ME as my top priority and stop driving myself so crazy with the TTC stuff. I know it will happen but if I stress myself out about it, it won't help anything. I just started Met yesterday, looking forward to hopefully good things from it, and we're taking a few months off of IVF planning, just to see if we can get pregnant naturally- a concept that has long been absent from my mind. I no longer feel the pressure that I had been driving myself crazy with- for some reason 30 was a HUGE deal for me. Probably just because of the insane timeline that my body just didn't agree with.
Anyways- thanks for a great blog- entertaining and inspiring post. Stay positive and make sure you do all those things you say you are going to- makes for a great peace of mind. :)

Sophie said...

Happy birthday :)! Hope it's a special day for you!

Thanks for sharing your last post. I have wondered the same about my first born, she is a lot like how you described Michael--didn't like bottles, hated the car seat, didn't sleep thru the night until well after age 1, doesn't like loud noises (even her sister crying scares her). Her and her sister are almost the complete opposite. I'd actually never heard of SPD; though I'm not sure if she has that, it's good to know about it--I'm sure other parents feel the same. Thanks again for sharing.